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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27547540">The Ghost of Christmas Present</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SplendentGoddess/pseuds/SplendentGoddess'>SplendentGoddess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Christmas, Christmas Miracles, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Gen, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Medical Procedures, Medical Professionals, Miracles, Near Death Experiences, Paranormal, Psychic Abilities, Rescue Missions, Romance, Thanksgiving Dinner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:41:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27547540</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SplendentGoddess/pseuds/SplendentGoddess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Every Day Is Halloween! Kagome Higurashi here. It's been a little over year since my life got turned upside down, as I realized I could communicate with ghosts. I've got another story to tell, this one a Christmas miracle, so pull up a chair.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>I See Dead People</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">Blanket Disclaimer:</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi, or VIZ Productions.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">========================</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Original post date on mediaminer: 12/21/14</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">As if the summary didn’t already give it away, <span>l</span>ike the original <em>Every Day Is Halloween</em>, this story is also told in 1st person from Kagome’s POV. I have now created my “I See Dead People” collection here on AO3 that contains these two stories and will contain all future installments I eventually write.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I will post my other Christmas stories in chronological order as they were originally written, but I figured since the first installment of this universe was a Halloween fic, I didn’t want to keep you guys waiting any longer than necessary for the sequel. It wasn’t originally my intention to post it on Friday the 13th, LOL, but I’m glad it worked out that way!</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Well, that’s enough outta me. It’s time to hear from Kagome.</p><hr/><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Prologue</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Hello again! Like the story title? I think it’s fitting, if I do say so myself. It’s also kind of a pun, since I really mean ‘present’ as-in ‘gift’. Maybe ‘Christmas Miracle’ would be more accurate.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">But I’m getting ahead of myself.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Is everyone here familiar with my original Halloween ghost story? The one where I told you all about how I rediscovered my ability to see and communicate with spirits, and how I wound up meeting my dead boyfriend, Inuyasha?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I know that sounds weird. Trust me, it takes a <em>lot </em>of explaining, every time I actually brave explaining it to a new person. Eri, Yuka and Ayumi all know now, of course. They had been the easiest ones to tell, already knowing Inuyasha existed and all. If you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about then I’m just going to stress that you <em>really </em>ought to go read my first story, Every Day Is Halloween, even though the Halloween season is over now. I explain it all there; I don’t have time to explain it all again in <em>this </em>story or otherwise, I’ll never get to the new, Christmas-y story I want to share with you guys.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I will take a brief moment to remind you all of a few basic things, however, and to catch you up on what all has changed over the last year, since this story takes place one year after where the first one left off. I’m Japanese-American but a So. Cal. girl through and through. That part obviously hasn’t changed. I’m twenty one years old now – party time! – and am a senior in college, majoring in psychology. I still live in the dorms and still have the same doormmate, Eri, Yuka and Ayumi’s room being right next door to ours this year. I go back home between semesters and over most weekends, spending time with my mother, grandfather, and younger brother Souta, who is now fifteen and driving with a permit. <em>There’s </em>a horror story if ever there was one!</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Souta and I have two cousins: Sango, who’s also twenty one and living on her own now, and her thirteen-year-old brother Kohaku, who still lives at home with their parents. Their father is our late father’s brother, brother-in-law to Mom. I know I only mentioned my cousins in passing in my previous story, but young Kohaku takes center stage in <em>this</em> one.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">But I’m getting ahead of myself again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Let’s see, my jii-chan is no longer in the dark regarding my relationship with Inuyasha. He found out pretty quickly, actually. It was really only a matter of time. At first I hadn’t thought I’d tell him, not wanting to shake up his reality, but he’d left me with no choice since I hadn’t wanted to outright lie to him. The cunning old man had figured out a few days before Christmas a year ago that I had a secret boyfriend, which was funny ‘cause at that time Inuyasha and I actually <em>hadn’t </em>been together yet, although we’d gotten together that very night. Merry Christmas!</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">After Christmas I wasn’t denying it anymore, letting Grandpa assume I had a casual college boyfriend, a conclusion I really don’t get since I’d been spending every weekend at home instead of in the dorms – although granted, that had actually been so that Inuyasha and I could have a little privacy, but Grandpa hadn’t known that. At first I’d been fine with just letting him think I had a casual college boyfriend, neither confirming nor denying the somewhat playful accusations, but all that changed when he wanted me to get more serious.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">One day last spring the jig was up, so I’d eased him into it, as much as was possible, finally confessing that my boyfriend was actually a ghost. Seemingly changing the subject when he’d asked me when I was going to do the right thing by bringing my boyfriend home to meet my family, I’d asked him in turn if he believed in ghosts. Scoffing, Grandpa had said not to change the subject, but I’d only insisted that I <em>wasn’t</em> changing the subject and that I needed him to answer the question. Eyeing me suspiciously, most likely assuming my boyfriend was a paranormal researcher or something (and disapproving of it), he’d then answered that no, of <em>course</em> he didn’t believe in ghosts.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I had suspected as much, seeing as how my mother had been downright adamant that ghosts did not exist until Inuyasha had helped Souta and me to prove otherwise. I’d launched back into my rip off of Jennifer-Love Hewitt’s speech from Ghost Whisperer again, then, telling him how I had a gift, and how I could both see and hear ghosts, yada yada yada. Of course he hadn’t believed me, although unlike Mom, who had just thought I was being stupid and telling lies, the look Grandpa had given me in that moment had implied that although he didn’t really believe me, he’d believed that <em>I </em>thought I was telling the truth. In short, he’d thought I was crazy.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sighing and not interrupting as he’d very cautiously, as if afraid of saying the wrong thing, told me how there were people who could help me, medications I could take, I’d waited until he was finished and holding his own breath in anticipation of my reaction to shift my gaze and glance beside me, to the invisible man who’d been standing next to me the entire time. The invisible man that <em>I </em>could see. The look in Inuyasha’s chocolate brown orbs had been so amusing I’d had to suck in and bite down on my bottom lip to keep from laughing outright. The look he’d given me had been something along the lines of ‘Did he really just say that?’</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I <em>am</em> studying to become a therapist, after all, so basically my grandpa had just told a future shrink that she needed a shrink. That was snicker worthy. I’d had to resist rolling my eyes.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Giving Inuyasha a subtle nod, he’d nodded back and shimmered away, becoming invisible even to myself. He needed the extra energy to pull off the stunt he was about to perform. The entire living room immediately got much colder, then. Even Grandpa had noticed <em>that</em>. As he’d shivered, wrapping his arms around himself and looking around the room in total confusion, his questioning eyes meeting mine briefly, I had pretty much ignored him whilst setting up a marker and piece of paper on the coffee table as I took a seat on the couch, removing the cap off the marker. Hey, they didn’t require as much pressure in order to write as a ballpoint pen.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Grandpa watched, transfixed, both of our breaths visible as puffs of steam in the literally freezing living room, as the Sharpie levitated off the table a few inches before turning midair and, felt to paper, began to write out a message.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d <em>wanted </em>Inuyasha to write ‘I’m real’ or something else equally as simple. It’s what we’d discussed beforehand, when I’d already sensed that this confrontation with Grandpa was inevitable. Instead, what did my darling, loving, idiot of a ghost boyfriend write on the paper? <em>‘</em><em>Boo’</em></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Shaking my head and sighing again, I hadn’t been able to help chuckling a little despite myself.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"><em>That’s my Inuyasha</em>... I’d thought, daring to glance back up and meet my grandfather’s eyes.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Sorry, Inuyasha’s got a twisted sense of humor at times,” I’d apologized lamely.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Of course, at that precise moment in time, I hadn’t gotten to the relationship part of my confession yet. I’d told Grandpa only of my encounter at the graveyard the previous Halloween, of how I’d met the ghosts of Kikyou and Inuyasha and how Inuyasha had helped me help Kikyou find peace. That was about when my jii-chan had launched into his own speech about how there were people who could help me and medications I could take. You know what the scariest part about that thought was? I wondered if those medications really <em>would </em>work, not because I’m actually crazy, because I’m obviously not, but because they would alter my brain chemistry and take away my ability to tune into that other frequency. I found myself wondering just how many other people out there on such medications really ought not to be; how many gifts had been stolen away. On the other hand, I’m sure some of the people on such drugs are legitimately in need of the medication; best to leave well enough alone, I supposed.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I, however, was not, and <em>am </em>not crazy. Grandpa realized that for himself quickly enough.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">In that moment, as what I’d said took on a new meaning, his eyes had widened even further.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“In-Inuyasha...?” he’d stuttered, more asking me rather than meaning to address the man himself, which I think Inuyasha knew although he took advantage of the opportunity anyway.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The marker, which had sat itself gently back down on the table after writing out the word ‘Boo’, had picked itself back up again and wrote <em>‘</em><em>Yes?’</em></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Stumbling, Grandpa sat down hard in his recliner across from me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">My mother had chosen that moment to enter the room. I’d realized about halfway through my speech that she was watching, having spotted her peaking in on us from the hallway, but I hadn’t said anything because I’d known it wasn’t my place to go ‘Right, Mom?’ like a little kid needing her mother to back up her claim. I couldn’t ask her to back me up; I was an adult and needed to go it alone. In that moment, however, she chose to back me up of her own volition, and who was I to deny her the opportunity to defend her only daughter?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’s true, Dad,” she’d said, launching into her own story of how she’d first found out about Inuyasha. First, about how he simply existed, back when I was still trying to help Kikyou, and then later, about how Inuyasha had decided to stick around after the fact because he and I were together now.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Or at least as ‘together’ as a living human and a ghost <em>could </em>be.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">For propriety’s sake, I’d spared them both the details of my lucid dreams, where Inuyasha would come to me...and usually <em>in </em>me. Mom knew, of course, although I never got very graphic with her, either. I’d told her that Inuyasha and I could be together in my dreams, but that was basically all I’d said, letting her fill in the blanks. In that moment, I’d told Grandpa only of how I loved him, and he loved me, and how we were committed to each other emotionally. How I’d realized I had an even bigger calling than just becoming a therapist, and that now, I’d realized it was my place to help ghosts, as well, with Inuyasha as my spirit guide.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I think now, looking back on it, my desire to become a therapist in the first place might have been a subconscious manifestation of sensing my gift without realizing it. Knowing deep down inside my soul that I was meant to help other people work through their pain and find peace, but being unaware of my ability to help <em>deceased </em>persons in such a way, then obviously I would make the only logical connection and assume that I wanted to help <em>living</em> people, instead.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Not that I don’t want to help living people anymore, because I do, but after what happened this last Christmas and what I’ve been up to on the side between classes, I’m actually still debating whether or not I should waste four more years and thousands of dollars studying for a doctorate degree I might not even use. The beauty of being a ghost shrink is that you don’t <em>need </em>a degree for that, and if you do it right, the pay is about the same. Plus in helping the ghosts I’m also still helping living people as well. Half the time, I’ve discovered, the ghosts aren’t actually sticking around because of <em>their </em>unfinished business, but because of <em>ours</em>.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’ll never forget what made me decide to out myself publicly as a medium. I remember it like it was yesterday...</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Guess who’s coming to dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Chapter one: Guess who’s coming to dinner</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It was the day before Black Friday, sometimes called Black Thursday, otherwise known colloquially as <em>Thanksgiving</em>. Note the sarcasm. I’ll tell you what I was thankful for, not having classes in the morning.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I wasn’t even really interested in shopping at 4am, either. Who’s brought idea was it to start Christmas sales <em>hours</em> before dawn the morning after everyone had stayed up late gorging themselves on turkey and starch? Come children, let’s all give thanks for what we have and thank God for our blessings...so that tomorrow morning we can (sometimes literally) try to kill each other as we push and shove our way into the store to greedily yank the last *fill in the blank* out of somebody else’s hands.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Le sigh.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Nevertheless, I’d had plans to pull myself from my Tryptophan-induced coma the following morning to at least nab a few good deals online, 21st century style, before promptly going right back to bed. If my professors wanted to take the day off to go camp out in the cold and then elbow their way through the aisles more power to ‘em.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Of course, I felt super sorry for my cousin Sango, who works as a cashier at an electronics retailer, of all things. She had to be at work at 3am, to prepare for the store opening at 4am. Some stores were even opening at midnight! What was <em>wrong </em>with people these days? And because a few public, city places don’t want Nativity scenes people say there’s a war on Christmas? Yeah, right. Just like Jon Stewart said, there’s a war on Christmas, and Christmas is <em>winning</em>. Thanksgiving is gone, it’s just prep day for Black Friday now. Halloween better watch its ass, ‘cause it’s next. I wasn’t aware Jack Skellington ran the local home improvement store, but that’s the only excuse I can think of for why they’d put up their massive Christmas display right across from their Halloween one, mid-October! I wonder if the employees were singing ‘Making Christmas’ as the inflatable ghosts and ghouls watched them work?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">But I digress.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The restaurant Mom works at part-time was actually open on Thanksgiving Day, but they tried to be fair about it and not force anyone to work it who didn’t want to. There were plenty of employees who’d volunteered, choosing time-and-a-half over awkward visits with extended family they’d really rather not have to see, and so Mom had gotten to enjoy the holiday with us. Another thing I was thankful for. Although, on the other hand, if she <em>had </em>had to work, then I bet Uncle Hayato and Aunt Susan wouldn’t have bothered coming over. <em>There</em> was some awkwardness I could’ve done without.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yeah, Dad’s brother married an American woman, not that that mattered any. <em>She </em>wasn’t the one who stuck out like a sore thumb in our family, <em>I </em>was. Dinner had been painfully awkward for me, and not because I hadn’t wanted to be around any of my family members. Contrariwise, I’d gotten the distinct impression that my aunt and uncle hadn’t really wanted to be around <em>me</em>.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Last year, the Thanksgiving right after I’d just barely finished dealing with Kikyou, they hadn’t been in the know. Neither had Grandpa at that time. I hadn’t mentioned the holiday in last year’s story because there’d been nothing worth mentioning. My whole ‘sight’ thing and Inuyasha’s continued presence had still been my little secret at that time. Mine, Mom’s and Souta’s. Back then he had only been my ‘ghost friend’, <em>definitely </em>not a boyfriend, and with me still learning my gift and trying to figure out what I should do with it we hadn’t wanted to tell anybody else.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d come clean to Mom about the elevated level of our relationship not long after it’d happened, of course, and I’d bit the bullet and confessed to Eri, Yuka and Ayumi shortly before Valentine’s Day. They’d all been thrilled; no surprise there. Grandpa found out in the spring like I explained in the prologue and then during the summer, while Sango and I had been making plans to go to Anime Expo, I’d decided to tell her, too. Just because I spent a lot of time with my college friends these days, it didn’t mean Sango and I were no longer close. We’d practically been raised as sisters. She had definitely been my best friend all throughout elementary school and high school and at that point I’d actually felt kind of guilty for keeping it from her for as long as I had.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She hadn’t believed me at first, of course, thinking I was pulling her leg, but a few ‘stupid ghost tricks’ later courtesy of Inuyasha had her knowing it was true. At that point I hadn’t wanted to keep anyone in my family in the dark any longer, and it’d hardly seemed fair to keep a secret from certain family members that other people who <em>weren’t </em>family knew, so Sango had agreed that I should tell her parents and brother as well. Well, we’d told them that I could <em>see</em> ghosts, and that I had a ‘spirit guide’. Sango had warned me that letting them know Inuyasha was actually my <em>boyfriend </em>might be a bit too much, and looking back on it, I am inclined to agree.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Thanksgiving dinner, I’d almost regretted having told them that I could see ghosts at all.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Although I’d allowed Kohaku and his parents to believe that Inuyasha and I were just friends, the simple fact that I could see things I shouldn’t be able to, was aware of things we weren’t supposed to know, had clearly freaked them out. Especially my aunt. My uncle had more or less just looked at me like I was a freak, but my aunt had been downright <em>afraid </em>of me. They’d both known it was true, known that I was neither lying nor crazy, and that had been the worst part. It wasn’t as if they’d adamantly refused to believe in ghosts and were convinced I was schizophrenic. In fact, they’d already been open-minded to the possibility of ghosts existing prior to my conversation with them last summer. But my aunt was <em>afraid </em>of ghosts, and knowing there was one hanging around me at nearly all times had made her afraid of <em>me</em>, too. My uncle I think didn’t like me mainly because his wife feared me, as if I was scaring her on purpose and he was angry with me for doing it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Maybe they thought I was a witch?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Hell, maybe I am.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Conversation had been kept light around the table, the patchy silence filled in part by Sango playfully ruing having to get only a few short hours of sleep before going into work basically in the middle of the night. Her mother had offered her some supportive words to that, reminding her that they’d be making their way down to the store where she worked, as well, and even earlier than her in fact, so that they could get in line. Employees were not allowed to hold any of the sale items for themselves, personally, although family members could of course come in and buy them just like anybody else. It’d be downright unfair if <em>that </em>weren’t allowed. Sango just wasn’t allowed to save anything aside for her mom and so Aunt Susan had to elbow her way through the crowds with the rest of ‘em.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Filling more of the silence, Sango had also said that things were starting to get a little more serious between her and this guy she’d met at a Halloween party that year, named Miroku. He had been dressed like a Buddhist monk, which she’d said had been hilarious since he was a horrible, womanizing flirt. Despite that, she honestly believed he felt something special for her, and he’d even vowed that he would only grope <em>her</em> from now on. Laughing at that, I’d said that I was looking forward to meeting him, thanking her again for letting me borrow her anime demon slaying outfit because I had indeed sported the tight black leather that Halloween, going to West Hollywood just like I’d planned. None of the girls had gone with me, but I hadn’t been alone. I’d had my ghostly chaperone by my side the entire night.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d wanted to have a good time, not get <em>completely </em>wasted, so he’d helped me keep myself in check and responsibly, I’d had a hotel room within walking distance I’d retired to when it was time to call it a night. In that moment during Thanksgiving dinner I’d mentioned nothing of Inuyasha’s presence while I’d partied on Halloween night, of course, just thanking my cousin for letting me borrow her costume before listening to a little more about her and Miroku’s developing relationship. I’d also updated her on my progress in school when she asked.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">All the while, I’d felt her parents’ eyes upon me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Souta and Kohaku had been in their own separate world, discussing the latest video games. Several times, Mom had tried to engage her brother-in-law in conversation but she’d only gotten the occasional halfhearted response. They were watching me, while trying not to look like they were watching me, which had made it all the more obvious that they were. They’d kept glancing up at me nervously as if I were a tiger pacing back and forth in a flimsy cage and they were afraid that I might escape from at any moment. It was downright annoying.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d never said “May I be excused?” so fast in all my life. I hadn’t even gone back for seconds, although my stomach had wanted me to. Even helping with the dishes in the kitchen was preferable to sitting there under the microscope for one minute longer.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Rinsing my plate off in the sink before stacking it neatly in the dishwasher, I’d suddenly felt a pair of invisible hands settle on my shoulders. I wasn’t startled, having felt his presence before he’d touched me. I was getting better and better at <em>feeling </em>him, that ‘uneasiness’ that people sometimes feel around spirits, except for me it wasn’t an uneasy feeling in the slightest. In that moment I’d found it especially comforting.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“<em>Breathe</em>...<em>” </em>I heard him whisper in my ear.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“That’s easy for you to say,” I murmured back, nearly a whisper myself. “Since you don’t <em>need </em>to breathe.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He chuckled.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“<em>At least Sango and Kohaku still like you</em>.<em>”</em></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">This was true. Once Sango had gotten over her initial shock she’d found the entire situation utterly fascinating. She thought my ability was awesome, and while she’d warned that her parents wouldn’t understand my relationship with Inuyasha she’d told me that personally, she didn’t have a problem with it. So long as I was happy, she was happy for me. Kohaku found my ability to speak to ghosts ‘super cool’ and had gotten nearly as excited as Souta had when Inuyasha had first introduced himself to the boy. Even though my aunt and uncle couldn’t look me in the eye anymore without flinching as if I might cast a spell on them if they angered me, at least I hadn’t lost Sango as a friend, and that was what’d mattered to me most.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">As if to prove that very point, Sango had joined me in the kitchen not a minute later. I’d felt Inuyasha’s hands leave my shoulders as Sango replaced his presence behind me, murmuring in her own quiet voice, “Thank goodness Thanksgiving is only one night a year.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Definitely something I’m thankful for,” I replied. We both giggled.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Everyone else finished up with dinner shorter after we did. Once Souta and Kohaku were excused from the table the awkward silence was a thing of the past, replaced by the excited cries and shouts of two teenaged boys and the cursing, gunfire and squealing tires of some auto theft video game or another. Finishing up with the dishes, Sango and I headed into the living room to cheer our younger siblings on, rather enthusiastically, their exuberance contagious, at least for us, although a moment later Sango and Kohaku’s mother Mrs. Kill Joy reprimanded Mom on allowing my brother such a violent game that was rated ‘mature’. It was bad for the mind, she’d said, and I bit my tongue, refraining from adding my own psychological two cents because honestly, I was just relieved she had finally found a distraction to shift her focus away from me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Personally, I only think video game violence can cause a person to obsess and ultimately engage in real violence if they have a predisposition for real violence in the first place and were attempting to use the game to quench that thirst, so to speak. In that case it becomes like an addiction, and the game might satisfy their need for a time until it loses some of its stimulative powers and the addict then needs to seek a bigger high. It’s just like how some serial killers start off with torturing animals first, before that’s no longer good enough and they advance to the real thing.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">A normal, mentally healthy person, is perfectly capable of comprehending the fact that a video game, no matter how visually realistic, is not real. A much bigger concern, I think, are the people who become addicted to video games in the more conventional sense, and waste their lives away in the land of make-believe instead of getting out there and <em>living, </em>but just like with anything else that can become bad if you get addicted to it, if you play games ‘in moderation’ then they are harmless fun, no matter how bloody.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">One could argue that video games have always been violent at their core – aside from Pong – and only the technology has improved, replacing what we once needed to use our imaginations for. Can you imagine how awesomely violent Space Invaders would have been if they’d had more advanced CGI technology back then? How gory Frogger could’ve been with today’s computer graphics? Snorting to myself in quiet amusement, I’d wondered idly if maybe Pac-Man being chased and killed by ghosts had had a hand in my aunt’s fear of them.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Fortunately, after voicing her dissatisfaction Aunt Susan had decided to let it go. The boys couldn’t play for long, after all, since they’d needed to get going shortly. That was her excuse for pulling Kohaku away from the game, rather than its contents. Everyone had to get up super early the next morning, or much later that night, depending on your perspective.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"><em>If Starbucks isn’t even open yet it’s too freakin’ early</em>... I kept that thought to myself as well.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Saying our goodnights to our departing guests after the lot of us enjoyed a quick round of dessert first, Grandpa, Mama, Souta and I didn’t waste any time getting settled down and ready for bed once they were gone, completely unaware of the dominoes that had already been set into motion halfway across town. Crawling into my bed after kissing Inuyasha goodnight, snuggling under my many layers of blankets with the space heater going so that he could suck as much energy as was needed to make me feel it as he held me in his arms until I drifted off to sleep, my drowsy thoughts wandered back to Sango and how I did <em>not </em>envy her having to go to work at three in the fucking morning.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Even though we’d had an early dinner she still wouldn’t be able to get a full night’s sleep. Neither would the rest of her family, since they were all getting up as well, even earlier than her since they wanted to be there earlier than her in order to get in line. They were just lucky Sango didn’t work at one of the <em>big</em> companies that had people getting in line Thursday morning, if not <em>Wednesday</em>. For concert tickets, I’d understand, but for a <em>sale? </em></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">A part of me had wondered idly if they were even going to bother going to sleep at all. It would have probably made the most sense to just go get in line that night and be done with it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">They really, really should have made that decision.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">As it was, the plans for which I did not at that time know the details of were that they would all take a brief nap of a few hours before heading over there at roughly 2am. ‘Closing time’ here in the Golden State; a bad time to be on the road. Uncle Hayato was driving, the whole excursion being Aunt Susan’s idea though he had gone along with it because, like a good husband, he had not been about to let his wife go off alone in the middle of the night like that.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">In my opinion Kohaku was old enough to be left home alone at age thirteen although honestly, I don’t think they were dragging him with them against his will. He had wanted to go. It was going to be his first Black Friday experience and he’d wanted to see first hand what all the hype was about, and probably take the opportunity to film his sister being frantically bombarded on his cellphone to tease her with the memories later over and over again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">All those plans changed in a flash of headlights, squealing tires and busting glass. It hadn’t been some teenager recklessly emulating a car chase video game. It was a drunk driver in his forties that put Kohaku in the hospital.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">~o~o~o~o~o~</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It’s never good when the phone rings at 3am.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It’s even worse when it’s not a wrong number.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Uncle Hayato had called to tell us the horrible news as soon as he and his wife were examined and released. Well, after calling Sango first, of course. The SUV that ran a red light and t-boned them had hit the back seat area of their car, so the two of them, in the front seats, had been bashed up a bit but nothing was broken. Kohaku wasn’t so lucky. He had been sitting in the side that got hit, and his head had whipped and hit the window, hard.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Fortunately, miraculously, he had survived. In body, at least. With no other serious injuries they had been able to stabilize him. At the time of the phone call he had still been in surgery, so as we’d all rushed down to the hospital, Sango of course calling off work to join her parents at the hospital as well, we’d all hoped and prayed that Kohaku would pull through. When they’d finally come out to tell us in the morning light that he was critical, but stable, and in a coma, we’d all had mixed feelings of both joy and dread. Still alive was good, but coma was bad.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Still, not nearly as bad as the worse alternative and so at that time, instead of having our hopes dashed we did not yet crumble into despair, clinging still to our hopes and prayers that he would indeed pull through.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Even Inuyasha was offering his own prayers, although I didn’t share his well wishes with my aunt and uncle, figuring they wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t appreciate it. Even though I had a deeper insight to life and death than most other people did, and Inuyasha <em>certainly </em>had a deeper understanding of it, from a unique perspective even I didn’t fully comprehend, he had not wished to see young Kohaku’s life ripped away from him so soon. Life was like being at an amusement park, he’d said once, a park you were only allowed to visit once, and it really sucked if you had to leave before getting to ride all the rides.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Of course, there was also such a thing as reincarnation, we’d discussed once, but that was like going to the amusement park again with amnesia, because if you didn’t remember being there before then it didn’t really count. You’d maybe pick up a few instinctive strategies for how to better navigate the park, as indeed life was about learning lessons each time you lived it, but if the grand universe or God or whatever you wanted to call it/Him deemed that you needed to go it again then it was out of your hands, and you wouldn’t be a ghost as Inuyasha was because your soul would immediately get put back into the recycler upon your death.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">If, on the other hand, you had achieved Inuyasha’s level of ghostdom, then you could still <em>choose</em> to be reincarnated, but most of the time you still lost your memories. He had chosen to stay behind, originally, because of Kikyou, and now because of me. He was aware of the other plane, though. He was aware of the spirit world, where all the ‘moved on’ souls had moved on <em>to</em>. Be that Heaven or some other dimension...he couldn’t really explain it to me and said it was neither and both; it was another world and yet it was our world, all around us. He’d said I’d understand when it was eventually my time, and I’d accepted that answer. I didn’t dwell on it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He’d told me in that moment, as we were listening to the doctor explain Kohaku’s condition, that he could sense Kohaku’s spirit, and it was confused. He was both everywhere and nowhere at the same time, like what used to happen to Inuyasha when Kikyou would drain him of his energy to make him disperse. Kohaku was dispersed. He’d assured me it was temporary, a result of the trauma, but as it was, neither he nor I could reach him. But Kohaku wasn’t dead; he was still alive and as such, the bond that connected the soul to the body was still intact. That bond only broke when the body died and could no longer house the soul.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">What was happening to Kohaku now, this was what happened to some people in tragic accidents, he’d explained. Kohaku was having an ‘out-of-body’ experience. Once the confusion settled, he should – hopefully – rejoin with his body and wake up, perhaps with a vague memory of having heard voices and seen a tunnel of light, or maybe looking down on his body from floating somewhere above.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">With the doctor telling us one person could stay by Kohaku’s side and his mother immediately jumping at the chance before anyone else could, as was her right and nobody thought to argue, Sango and her father broke off to have a conversation while Mom, Grandpa and Souta approached me. They were more understanding of Inuyasha and his unique insight, and had caught my brief interaction with him so they’d been curious what he’d had to say. Quietly, so that my uncle wouldn’t overhear, I relayed what he’d said, which was good news indeed, at least I thought.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sure, it would’ve been better if his soul was still tucked inside his head where it belonged and he was dreaming, but his soul hadn’t <em>moved on </em>so he wasn’t brain dead. He was just in shock and needed time to put together what had happened. He’d be fine. Nodding their understanding, grateful for my insider information on the subject, Mom and Grandpa offered more prayers, hoping for Kohaku’s speedy spiritual recovery, since that was what truly needed to heal now that his body was in stable condition.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Tearfully hugging Sango goodbye for the time being as I prepared to leave with my family, a woman in an old-timey nursing uniform staring right at me from the edge of the hallway captured my attention in that moment.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Promising Sango that we’d stay in close contact, I told my mom I’d be right back. I told her the truth, that a nurse from the ‘60s wanted to talk to me about something. Her eyes widened a bit in deeper understanding and she nodded, telling me they’d wait for me in the car.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Nodding, I walked away and then asked a living nurse where the restroom was. A quick gesture had the ghost nurse following me and once we were alone I asked her politely what she needed.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I was surprised at first, when I saw him talking to you,” she began, gesturing to Inuyasha who had of course entered the bathroom with us. “You are one of the special ones.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I wanted to ask her if she had a point, but I also didn’t want to be rude. Surely she didn’t just want to say hi, under the circumstances. I immediately found out that I was right about that at the next words to leave her seemingly tangible lips.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I can keep an eye on your cousin for you, if you’d like.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You...you would do that?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She explained her situation to me then. Politely introducing herself – even though she wore a name tag that said her name was Mary – she explained how she was in no way, shape or form a troubled soul. She’d worked at that hospital since the 1960s, as her appearance would suggest, but then she’d told me that she hadn’t died on the job, and she hadn’t died in her twenties. She’d lived for over forty more years and had died at home in the middle of the night, from a heart attack. But she’d devoted her life to that hospital, never having retired; she had indeed still been employed at the time of her passing, and now, she was dedicating her afterlife to it, as well. Before, she had helped the living patients, so now, she helped the newly deceased ones, she’d said.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Indeed, hospitals were usually chock full of confused, lost, tormented souls. I’d thought that maybe I was just blocking them out because of my grief for and concentration on Kohaku, but I’d now found out that the reason this particular hospital wasn’t crawling with ghosts was because this one particular ghost acted like an angel of death of sorts, calmly and patiently explaining to each newly deceased person what had happened, helping them to move on. It was a bit of nostalgia that had caused her to choose her younger appearance, in uniform, not wishing to appear for all eternity as an elderly woman in a nightgown.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Indeed, even Inuyasha had since mastered the ability to change his appearance out of the Halloween costume he’d died in. Not that I didn’t find the Phantom costume striking in its own right, but his favorite jeans and red shirt were just as appealing. The clothes you died in were kind of the ‘default’ setting, he’d explained, but since ghosts were nothing but energy and you were projecting an image of yourself, if you had enough power and concentration you could alter the image you portrayed. It did take some effort, though. He’d told me he’d never thought to bother altering his appearance until he’d had someone in his unlife who could actually <em>see </em>him. My desire to see him in other clothes in my dreams had been what’d caused him to learn to master the ability outside of my dreams as well. This nurse was plenty powerful in her drive to help others and considered her young nursing self her truest self, so it had been easier for her, and plus being in a hospital meant there was plenty of electricity to feed from.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She told me that a few times, some of the doctors and nurses had seen her. There were rumors that their hospital was haunted by her, even though they didn’t know who she really was; none of the staff had my gift and so she had never been able to actually sit down and have a conversation with anyone before. Knowing her primary purpose was to aid those newly deceased she’d let go of the idea of talking to her old friends long ago, going about her business whether they sometimes got a passing glimpse of her or not. She’d then told me that if there was the slightest change in Kohaku’s condition she would come to me immediately. I started to tell her where I lived so that she could find me but she waved me off, saying that now that we’d met, she could find me easily by the feel of my soul. All she had to do was pass on to the other side first, and once there you become aware of <em>everything</em>, so then she would be able to find me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d nodded my vague, half-comprehension to that concept, knowing enough to believe that it was true.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I left then, not wanting to keep my family waiting any longer. It was a somber ride back home that Black Friday morning, way too late in the day for any of the online deals I’d wanted to buy to still be available, like I’d given a shit. Depressed and exhausted, I hadn’t done anything but go back to bed when we got home. Inuyasha approached me in my dream but didn’t attempt anything seductive, for which I was grateful. Instead, he held me and let me cry. I’d wondered, I’d worried...if Kohaku did die, would his parents let me relay his final message? Would they believe me? Would they <em>want </em>to believe me? If he died, would they...<em>blame </em>me? That last fear was silly and irrational, I knew, but if there was one thing grief could be at times, it was irrational.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">That weekend kind of went by in a haze. I was in constant contact with Sango, who was in constant contact with her mother who was by Kohaku’s side in the hospital. Things had been touch and go for a while there but he was stable. That was the good news. The bad news was that there was still no higher brain activity.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It was far too soon to give up hope, of course. He had not been deprived of oxygen in a situation that could have resulted in brain damage that way. It was only the head trauma, and sometimes, the mind had ways of repairing itself that seemed impossible at first. Maybe a few things were rewiring themselves. His vital signs were stable and we were holding out hope. With my insider information and that nurse’s promise to let me know the second anything changed on a spiritual level, I still clung to my hope that Kohaku’s soul was still just out and about as it was because his brain needed more time to heal first. Even as a ghost, it was like he was unconscious, or halfway, at least. Inuyasha couldn’t reach him, and Mary couldn’t reach him, but the feel of him was strongest near his body and that was good.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Knowing there was nothing either I or Inuyasha could do at the moment I’d attempted to get on with my life, as stressful as it was with the constant worry of my poor cousin in the back of my mind at all times. I went to all my classes that week, and per her parents’ insistence Sango went back to work on Monday as well after having taken the entire weekend off. She and I were still in constant contact, texting each other during whatever breaks we came by. Yuka, Eri and Ayumi offered their support, and Eri especially was understanding of the fact that I would be mopey for the time being, not trying to cheer me up. I had my own car now at that point, just a used clunker but hey when it’s your first car, it’s a beauty no matter <em>what </em>it looks like, and so I was able to go visit Kohaku myself in the evenings after class without inconveniencing anyone else or taking the bus.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Either my aunt or uncle was by Kohaku’s side practically 24/7, which made visiting him more awkward than it should have been since I always got that feeling from them that they were nervous around me, but they never verbally asked me not to come by and so I wasn’t about to let their uneasy vibes keep me from checking in on my cousin. He was family, damn it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I think they thought I was like the messenger of death or something, and that with me being there it would make Kohaku’s soul come out, would make him die. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want that at all. I didn’t have the balls to actually confront them on whatever it was that bothered them specifically, though, and so I would just pop in for a few minutes, ask them how he was doing, receive a nervous, shaky reply that he was still the same, and then after silently getting confirmation of that from the ghost nurse Mary I would nod and leave. Things stayed the same for the next three weeks or so, until suddenly, the night before Christmas Eve, everything changed...forever.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Small Medium</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Chapter two: Small Medium</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The first time I’d ever done what I guess could be called a cleansing I hadn’t really known what the hell I was doing, but just following my heart, with Inuyasha by my side, I’d taken my best stab at it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">One night over the summer, I’d spent a night on the Queen Mary. That had been an experience and a half, let me tell you. With apparitions so strong that regular people without my gift could see them on occasion, it was only natural that I easily saw and heard them the entire time I was there. The children playing in the storage room weren’t in turmoil I’d found out, and were honestly having fun playing at being ghosts, spooking the living. They’d made me laugh.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d found out from the stately gentleman in first class that the only trapped souls not there by choice, because most of the ghosts there loved the ship and simply chose to remain there, were the two women who’d both drowned in the pool and a sailor who’d died in the engine room. After having some one-on-one talks with each them – I had <em>not </em>participated in one of the haunted ‘tours’ because I’d wanted the privacy – I had been able to get all three of them to a place of peace and acceptance. The women had even said, as they’d faded away with smiles on their faces, that they might be back again, seeing as the tourists might be disappointed by their absence. That had made me laugh as well.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sango, Eri, Yuka and Ayumi had all asked me rather eagerly how it’d gone after the fact, and I’d delighted in telling them. Eri had then asked me if it’d be okay if she posted online, while keeping my identity anonymous, that she knew someone who could see and help ghosts, just in case any of her online friends knew anybody who knew somebody who had a friend who knew someone... You get the idea.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She was trying to nonchalantly find me ‘clients’, without officially advertising, because I’d explicitly stated I was still learning and experimenting and did <em>not </em>want to advertise myself. I <em>did </em>want to help the ghosts, however, and so as long as she promised not to say who I was online, and use herself as the contact instead, I’d given her my permission. It wasn’t so much that I was worried about my reputation, worried about my future career. I did still want to become a therapist, and yes it was true that if word got out that I was also a medium it could potentially harm my reputation as a therapist, but I wasn’t ashamed of my gift and I didn’t want to pretend I didn’t have it. I didn’t want to pretend to be normal. If it came out later and bit me in the ass, so be it, but at that point in time I just hadn’t wanted to be bombarded with a bunch of people reaching out to me when I still kind of felt like I didn’t really know what I was doing.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I needed to finish college before I took things <em>too </em>far because even if I never went to graduate school for my doctorate degree I was sure my psychology professor for senior year would have some cool insights I could learn from and use in the trade. I was like a medium intern at that point in time, was how I’d thought of it, and considering it an internship I was also doing it for free, despite Eri’s protests that I should charge money. I’d told her I would if I decided to make it my official career, because after all, a girl’s gotta eat and pay the bills, but in the meantime, while it was just one here and one there, I was considering it practice.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">So-called ‘clients’ were few and far between, but they <em>had</em> popped up on occasion, and I’d always been eager to help. Only once so far had there turned out not to be a ghost involved, as I’d debunked some of the normal happenstances that’d been mistaken by the homeowners as ghostly activity. Despite not having any of the fancy toys they use on shows like Ghost Hunters, I still watch those types of programs and know how to debunk. The other times, it’d always turned out to be a legitimate haunting, and – miraculously – I’d so far always been able to help the troubled spirit find peace.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It was two weeks after the accident, and Eri and I had been sitting quietly together in our dorm room studying, when she’d suddenly given me ‘the look’.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Kagome...”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Hesitating to tell me, she’d bitten her lower lip, glancing away. I could see it in her eyes and knew what this was about, but she’d been nervous to bother me with it because of the situation with Kohaku. What could I say? I couldn’t put my life on hold because my cousin was in a coma, and I especially couldn’t leave tormented ghosts, and the families of said ghosts, to suffer just because I wasn’t feeling up to it at the moment.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sighing, I’d said, “Out with it Eri, who are they and how bad is it?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sighing herself, in relief, she’d launched into recapping the e-mail she had received that morning, from a married couple haunted by the ghost of their deceased daughter.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The girl had died in a car accident. No wonder Eri had been afraid to tell me about them at first. It’d happened a little over a year ago, and at first when they’d started to see a few little oddities here and there, or heard the occasional noise, they’d chalked it up to either the house settling or simply their minds playing tricks on them. The activity had spiked like crazy when the woman had, at first happily, discovered she was pregnant again. Now, they feared for the safety of their unborn child, fearing the jealous wrath of their deceased daughter, who has since made her presence <em>quite </em>known.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">They’d already tried talking to her, themselves, telling her how much they loved her, but that she needed to move on. They’d told her how they would always love her, and would always miss her, and that they weren’t replacing her with the new baby and that she would always be in their hearts, even promising their second child would grow up knowing of her, that they would keep her photographs out, not erasing her from their lives. So far their attempts to appease her had failed. She was a small child, and, apparently, she was throwing a temper tantrum.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d had my work cut out for me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">That Saturday I drove over to their house, with my trusty ghost sidekick by my side, of course.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d spoken with the mother over the phone the evening before and had arranged the whole thing, including insisting I wouldn’t take any payment from them because I was just a college girl with a gift trying to help a friend of a friend. I could see Eri’s point of view, especially since at some point I would <em>need </em>to get <em>some </em>kind of a job to start paying back my student loans, but at that time I just hadn’t wanted to risk them thinking I was trying to scam them or in any way take advantage of their pain. The way I saw it, doing it for free eliminated that suspicion.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The woman greeted me at the door, thanking me for coming over, thanking me for being willing to help them, and as I’d started to reply that it was my pleasure and that I sincerely hoped I <em>could </em>help them I was stopped short by the sight of a frowning little girl standing in the living room, giving me the cutest child equivalent to the evil eye I’d ever seen. I couldn’t help meeting her gaze head on, which immediately had the child’s expression morphing from dissatisfied to downright shocked.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Was your daughter wearing a pink top with butterflies on it and light blue jeans?” I’d asked the mother then, still looking at the seven-year-old only I could see.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The woman had gasped, nearly falling to her knees before her husband had appeared out of nowhere to grasp her arms from behind in a supportive embrace. There were plenty of photographs of the girl with her parents in frames around the living room, but none of her in that particular outfit that I could see from my vantage point. With the parents immediately knowing I was the real deal they’d asked me then what I wanted them to do. I told them, much to their obvious surprise, that I didn’t do the whole dog and pony show of holding a séance. No candles, no sitting around in a circle holding hands, and I didn’t ‘channel’ Inuyasha, either, who was standing right next to me clear as day to both myself and the little girl who had since shifted her attention to my gentleman companion.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You’re like me,” the girl had said in awe, pointing first at Inuyasha and then at herself.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Yup,” he’d answered.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“And she can see us?” she’d asked him then, pointing at me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha glanced sideways at me and I decided to take the reins.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I can also hear you,” I answered her, leaning down a little to be more eye level with her, and she blinked at me in surprise again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The parents watched, mesmerized, without interrupting, as I’d proceeded to ask the little girl, Emily, what was the matter. Like a good therapist I listened, letting my patient do most of the talking, except for inserting the occasional “And how does that make you feel?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Turns out, she hadn’t been jealous of her pending younger sibling, after all. She had only been trying to get her parents’ attention, but like most ‘normal’ people they could rarely see or hear ghosts unless the ghost was the one who put forth an abundance of effort. She’d been able to do a few things to get their attention from time to time, but frustratingly, they had brushed off such happenstances. A picture frame falling off the wall? Must have been a small earthquake. The sound of her voice? Well that was just their imaginations, their grief, playing tricks on them. Even telling them both that she was still there in their dreams hadn’t done the trick, either, because they’d still convinced themselves it had only been a dream.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">All that had changed with the new baby, and indeed Emily had, at first, been afraid that they would forget about her. She had <em>really </em>put forth the effort to get their attention, then, but then they’d gone and assumed she was throwing a fit about the baby, when all she’d wanted to do was let them know her spirit was still with them, since they were always talking like she was gone. She didn’t mind having a younger brother or sister, she just didn’t want to be ignored. Then to her horror, once they’d realized she <em>was</em> there they had started asking her to leave, to ‘move on’ to wherever it was she was supposed to move on to, when she wanted to stay at home. Why were they trying to send her away? It was like they didn’t love her anymore. Didn’t want her anymore.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Poor Emily. The whole thing had been one big misunderstanding. When they’d asked her not to hurt the baby she had screamed, just trying to speak loudly enough for them to hear her, that of <em>course </em>she wouldn’t hurt her new brother or sister, but all she had managed to achieve was draining the lights, or sometimes popping a lightbulb in her frustration, and her parents had automatically taken those reactions to mean she was angry. The only thing that was making her angry was them assuming she was angry!</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Immediately, I had explained to the parents everything from her perspective, and how she hadn’t actually gotten upset or jealous until she’d feared that they were the ones who didn’t want her anymore, who didn’t love her anymore. The mother <em>had </em>fallen to her knees that time, weeping, begging Emily to forgive her, promising over and over again that she loved her and that no, they <em>didn’t </em>want to send her away because they didn’t want her anymore. The father chimed in then, explaining to his little girl that they wanted only what was best for <em>her</em>, that she shouldn’t feel obligated to stick around them if it would only make her sad to watch them continue living on while she didn’t, while she couldn’t really participate in life and their activities. They wanted what was best for her and if moving on was it, so that she could either go to Heaven or be reincarnated or whatever was destined to happen to her soul, then so be it. They only wanted her to be happy; they didn’t want her to feel trapped or miserable.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Emily had cried herself, then, and damn it all, relaying to her parents what she was saying had made <em>me </em>cry in turn. While the three of us living humans hugged it out Inuyasha took advantage of the moment to pull Emily aside and teach her a few ghost tricks of the trade, giving her advice on how to best go about tapping energy when she needed it, or how to best get a living person’s attention. He’d sacrificed himself for her sake, then, not that it was really that much of a sacrifice. He’d simply told Emily how to drain him of his own energy, just like Kikyou had always used to do vindictively just to make him shut up and go away. I’d watched, fascinated, as Emily’s apparition had almost seemed to absorb his, until Inuyasha’s form had faded away. He’d turned to meet my gaze before disappearing completely, a reassuring smile on his lips as he’d winked at me, before then turning into a kind of smoke that had drifted off as he lost all substance, even the smoke dissipating until there was nothing left.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I wasn’t worried. I knew what had happened, and I knew his consciousness was still around, somewhere...everywhere. Just like what had currently been happening with Kohaku, this was only temporary, the only difference being that Inuyasha had no living body to go back to when his consciousness regathered itself. But in that moment I knew his charity had been successful as I heard Emily’s mother gasp, and she and her husband quickly pulled away from me to stare, in shock, as they too now saw the apparition of their daughter standing before them.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I love you both...<em>so</em> much...” Emily said, and I knew they had both heard her when I saw their reactions to it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She must have faded away to them then, because her mother had desperately cried out “Wait!” but had then buried her face in her husband’s shoulder.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“She isn’t gone,” I immediately assured them, as I could still see her, even though she was now partly transparent even to my gaze. That had taken a <em>lot </em>of energy for her to pull off.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Her parents told her again that they loved her too, then, and that they were so very sorry this had happened, that she had died. She’d assured them in turn, through me, that she didn’t blame them and wasn’t angry about her death. She just didn’t want to be forgotten. She didn’t <em>want </em>to be born again, to have new, different parents. <em>They </em>were her family and she would wait for them, so that one day, they could all be together again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“<em>Thank you</em>...<em>” </em>Emily had said to me, then, her voice sounding far away now, her energy for the moment nearly spent.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She told me she could see it now, the connection. She was now like Inuyasha, like Kikyou had become, a ghost ‘at peace’ who could come and go as she pleased. She would go, but she would always be back to check in on her family. She would be around, watching, but she wouldn’t disturb them. If <em>they </em>wanted to get in contact with <em>her </em>they could reach her, she would be listening. If they wanted to speak to her, she would hear them. She also said she wanted to meet her younger brother or sister once he or she was born. Relaying that last part, the parents had nodded their deeper understanding. Young children were sometimes more sensitive to such things. If and when their second child began speaking of playing with their seemingly invisible older sister, they would know it was true.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d smiled at that, grateful these parents were so wise. This child, at least, would never be told it was only their imagination, or that they were lying. I was also relieved they were okay with my diagnosis, as it were, since I’d more or less informed them that their daughter, while ‘at peace’ now, would still be haunting them off and on. They hadn’t wanted me to get her out of the house in so many words, they’d only wanted me to help her move on, and she <em>had </em>moved on...and was merely choosing to pop back in on them from time to time in between watching over them from above. To know that she was going to wait for them and watch over them, they were actually pleased with this news.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The mother had pulled me into another hug on my way out the door, and had then proceeded to shove a check in my hand. I’d tried, politely, to refuse, but she’d waved me off.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Nonsense,” she’d said. “You deserve it. You’ve earned it.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Fifty bucks? I’d been there less than an hour. Score!</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Making sure the woman had my cell number, I’d assured her she could contact me again at any time, if something seemed off and she wanted me to speak with Emily again. I also bit the bullet and told her that if she knew anybody else who was involved in a haunting she could contact me as well, or give that person my number directly. I made sure she understood that I wasn’t a psychic, not in any way, shape or form. I could simply, for whatever reason, see and hear ghosts much more easily than the average person, making it much easier for the ghost to communicate with me. But the ghost had to already <em>be </em>there; I didn’t summon – honestly, I didn’t even know how – and if the ghost didn’t <em>want </em>to talk to me then there was nothing I could do about it. She assured me she understood, and thanked me one last time before I headed on my way.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Easiest fifty bucks I ever made! I’d thought during the drive home that perhaps I could do it like the people who do ‘free’ car washes, not officially charging a fee but accepting donations. No harm in that, was there?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Despite my happiness for that family, it hadn’t really helped me to forget about my own family’s situation, not that I’d wanted to forget. Checking in with Sango that evening, she’d confirmed there was still no change to Kohaku’s condition. I’d momentarily thought about stopping by the hospital on my way home but had ultimately decided against it since I hadn’t had Inuyasha with me at the moment and I was feeling especially vulnerable without his presence by my side. Getting ready for bed that night, I’d cranked the space heater in my bedroom, letting the disembodied Inuyasha drink up. I heard his voice murmur <em>“Goodnight</em>...<em>” </em>before sleep claimed me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">~o~o~o~o~o~</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sunday was uneventful, Monday more of the same, except I was back in my dorm room and had the distraction of schoolwork to occupy at least some of my thoughts. Eri was pleased to hear how my Saturday had gone at that family’s house although she’d refrained from squealing in joy like I knew she would have had it not been for Kohaku. Not really a religious person, I’d decided it couldn’t hurt and had taken to praying at night for Kohaku’s recovery. There were some things Inuyasha wouldn’t really divulge with me, not because he didn’t want to or couldn’t trust me or I wasn’t allowed to know, but because he’d said he couldn’t really explain it properly in a way I’d understand. I’d decided to take his word for it and what little bits he <em>had </em>tried to explain, or show me in a dream, had led me to understand that while religious texts written by man were simply that, there <em>was </em>a higher power in charge of everything. There was somebody who would hear my prayers.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Looking back on it, it was the night before Christmas Eve when maybe, just maybe, those prayers had finally been answered.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Suddenly, in the middle of the night that Tuesday night, while Inuyasha and I had been sharing a nice, pleasant dream about sipping hot cocoa by the fire in a ski lodge, Inuyasha had suddenly bolted sitting upright from his laid back position on the couch, and he would have spilled his hot chocolate all over himself if the cup had not conveniently winked out of existence in that moment.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“What is it?” I’d asked, worried.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Then suddenly, the nurse from the hospital was standing on the other side of the room.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The shock of this sudden change of events had me bolting wide awake, and glancing at the clock I’d noted that it was just a couple of minutes past two in the morning on Wednesday. My sleep addled brain didn’t immediately make any connections there, but remembering my dream I’d whispered quietly for Inuyasha, careful not to wake Eri. I suddenly felt a wave of cold consume me, chilling me to my very core. He didn’t like making physical contact with me in the dorms since I didn’t have my space heater and so it was harder for him to draw energy without making the room ice cold in the process; he was drawing energy from me instead of the air around us so that Eri wouldn’t feel the drop in temperature.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Suddenly, there he was, kneeling by my bedside.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Kohaku...” he murmured quietly, and I immediately threw my blankets off despite my chill, frantically whispering “Bathroom!” as I got up and exited the room in my pajamas.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">A trip down to the bathroom would give us some privacy to speak without disturbing Eri, and he could use the energy of the lights to fuel himself. Knowing it was about Kohaku, I raced down the hall for the nearest restroom like I was about to pee my pants.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Entering the room to thankfully find it empty aside from myself, I actually did kind of have to pee but that was the furthest thing on my mind as I asked him to tell me what’d happened. The lights flickered eerily for a moment, plunging me into total darkness a few times, until after the last time they went off when the light came back on again I was suddenly no longer alone, Inuyasha and the nurse ghost, Mary, both standing before me. Mary gave me a sad look while Inuyasha sought and held my gaze.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“His soul...he’s left his body, Kagome. Kohaku’s ghost has solidified itself, but it’s out of his body, he didn’t go back inside his brain like we hoped he would,” Inuyasha explained, Mary having already told him what’d happened in the time it took me to get to the restroom.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I gasped at the words, my knees shaking.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“No...”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I stumbled, and instinctively Inuyasha moved to catch me, but even though he could occasionally touch me he never had <em>that </em>much substance and after a split second of feeling his hands upon me the feeling disappeared as I passed right through him, feeling those weird icy tingles I love so much as I crashed to my knees on the floor, too distraught to find any pleasure in our brief tingly moment of contact.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The lights blinked again, and for an instant I was alone in the bathroom, then they blinked once more and Inuyasha was kneeling before me, his hand tangible as he rested it on my shoulder, his eyes seeking mine. Mary was gone.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“He isn’t really dead. He hasn’t died.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I...I don’t understand.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“His body is still alive. Right now he’s a projected soul. If he passes on and the doctors save his body he’ll become what you people call brain dead, but that still won’t mean he’s dead.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“But...but if he becomes brain dead,” I questioned, “then doesn’t that basically mean he’s dead?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha shook his head.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It depends on how much physical damage has happened to the actual brain. If there is <em>too</em> much damage then yes, the soul should not return, if it were to be locked away trapped, unable to do more than think and dream. In those cases, if the spirit is lucky enough to have been freed when the damage occurred, then even if the body is still alive they should just accept their death and move on, and eventually, the living will turn off the machines and let the soulless body die. So long as the body is still alive, however, there is always a chance, always a choice. Kohaku has to <em>want</em> to live again.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I nodded my understanding to that. You did sometimes hear of the occasional, rare miracle. The person in a coma for years that suddenly wakes up. For the people who had significant brain damage, I could understand why they would choose to accept death, choose to move on, even if the rest of their body had been saved. Inuyasha had kind of explained it to me once, the connection between the brain and our soul and why there is in fact a trinity of mind, body and spirit. He’d said to think of the brain like a complicated control panel, with all of the various knobs, buttons, switches and dials our person, our soul, sitting at that panel must operate in order to control our bodies. If the panel gets damaged, some of the buttons broken, then that’s like when people have a stroke or some other type of brain injury that impairs them. Because the control panel got damaged, they have limited control now, but really, deep down inside, the person sitting at that control panel is unharmed, the soul is unharmed.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha explained to me in that moment, alone in a bathroom in the women’s dorm at two in the morning, that because Kohaku’s scattered consciousness had collected itself, but instead of going back inside his body he had emerged outside of it as a ghost, that he was no longer just having a vague out-of-body experience. Instead, with his body still alive, and his consciousness coalesced and fully aware, this was similar to what people called astral projection.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Astral projection was another thing that was real, though rare, Inuyasha had told me once. In a way we all did it in our sleep, in our dreams, even though our dreams also took place inside our own heads. But ghosts can go into the dreams of living people if the living person’s soul is open to them. It’s like being in a place, yet not being in a place. Our souls don’t leave our bodies when we dream, but it’s like if our body is our house, and the spirit realm is outside our house, then when we dream we’ve opened a window, and so while we’re still safe inside our home we are letting the fresh air in, and can hear the birdsong. Somebody on the outside can approach the window and speak to us through it, if we let them. That’s how connected we are to the other side in our dreams.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Astral projection takes it a step further, and we’ve actually opened the front door, venturing outside, but yet we still live at home and don’t wander <em>too</em> far away from our property. There’s nothing wrong with our house and we intend to return there after we’re done exploring. We also must keep to the path, aka the earthly realm, because in order to maintain the connection between body and spirit one couldn’t venture between dimensions, truly going into the spirit realm. That would cause the body to die.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Truly dying was like when our house got destroyed, and we no longer had a home to go back to. Then it didn’t matter if you kept to the path or not because you were homeless either way. These were all analogies Inuyasha had used to help me understand. In that moment, he’d explained what Mary had said to him, that Kohaku’s spirit had stepped outside. His house was damaged, yes, but not damaged beyond repair. It would take time and energy to repair it, though. To Kohaku, the ‘outside world’ aka the spirit realm was looking mighty appealing. He hadn’t stepped off the path, yet, but if he did then his connection to his body would snap, and his body would die without our modern medical intervention.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">In that moment I’d instantly realized that it was now my job to help him see that staying ‘home’ and making the needed repairs was the right thing to do, rather than walking away and letting his house fall into ruin.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I needed to get to the hospital, now.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Staying Alive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Chapter three: Staying Alive</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Having rushed back into my dorm room to get dressed, after first taking care of my bodily needs while still in the bathroom, I didn’t bother trying not to disturb Eri in my haste, needing to tell her where I was going anyway so that she wouldn’t panic upon noticing my absence in the morning.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She groaned and blinked shortly after I clicked the light on, asking me in a suddenly wide awake tone of voice what was wrong as soon as my rapid dressing dawned on her. Quickly, I explained what’d happened and that I needed to go speak with Kohaku’s spirit. I needed to see if I could fix this. I didn’t have any classes the following day, anyway, what with it being the day before Christmas. I would’ve originally been going home that morning to be with my family. Now, I’d imagined that I, and the rest of the family, would probably be spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Eri wished me good luck as I raced out the door.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Even though I’d been desperate to get to the hospital as quickly as possible, it had definitely been my goal to arrive there under my own power as a guest, not in an ambulance as a patient, and so I obeyed all the traffic laws, especially since it was once again just past ‘closing time’ for all the local bars. There were a lot of drunks on the road, not to mention a lot of cops, who were looking for the drunks but definitely wouldn’t hesitate to pull me over if I went zipping through a red light. Trying to steady my shaking breathing, I’d tried to remain calm as I navigated the mostly deserted streets. Fortunately, I made it to the guest parking lot incident and accident free.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">During the few minute drive Inuyasha had told me he’d go check on Kohaku, let the boy know I was on my way. He didn’t want my cousin doing anything foolish or rash without thinking things through. It surprised me when, shortly before arriving at the hospital, the radio in my car had suddenly clicked on and turned to a nothing station of white noise static.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">We hadn’t communicated like that in over a year, both of us having grown so much stronger as time went on. Inuyasha knew how to draw energy more efficiently as he and I experimented with different options, and plus just like working any other muscle, the part of my brain that enabled me to communicate with ghosts was also a lot stronger now than it used to be. Hearing his voice come through over the static, I immediately learned why he was so weak all of a sudden. He’d fed Kohaku. The boy was consciously aware, but would have previously been invisible to me, a voice only. As a brand new ghost he didn’t really know how to draw energy from the environment yet. Inuyasha had given him a lot of his own energy, but not so much that it would make him disperse, for which I was grateful; Inuyasha had known I would definitely want, no...<em>need </em>him by my side for this.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Parking and getting out of the car, the blast of cold air that enveloped me left me with a metaphorically warm feeling inside, knowing it was Inuyasha wrapping himself around me. A ghost hug. I wasn’t alone.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Still, to any outside observer I knew I appeared alone, and I knew that part of this I would have to do all by myself. I hesitated for only a moment before entering the waiting room area, since I knew visiting hours were long since over, but there was something to be said for portraying yourself with an air of confidence, of acting like you belonged. Forcing myself to walk at a normal pace instead of dashing frantically down the hall like I’d <em>wanted </em>to do, I walked with my head held high right past the receptionist station and nobody paid me even the slightest bit of attention.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It probably also helped that at least some of the staff recognized me from my numerous visits, and since I knew precisely where Kohaku’s room was located I navigated the various twists and turns with ease, like I really <em>did </em>belong. I passed a couple of doctors and nurses during the journey but they all just smiled and nodded politely as I walked by.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Peaking into Kohaku’s room, I felt my heart jump up into my throat. His body looked the same, lying still in bed, the monitors attached to him beeping steadily. He didn’t have a breathing tube. He was breathing on his own. Sitting in a chair that had been pulled up to his bedside and slumped over his body in a deep and restless sleep was my aunt Susan, Kohaku’s mother. The poor woman looked ragged, exhausted. I could see her face and her closed eyes were sunken in, the dark bags under them looking especially prominent in the low florescent lighting.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Neither of these sights were as heart wrenching, though, as the duplicate image of the young teen in the hospital bed standing silently in the far corner of the room, taking in the same sight of the unconscious boy and his mother with a troubling look of guilt and sympathy.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Standing there, wanting to be quiet so as not to wake my aunt, I waited as patiently as I could for Kohaku to notice me, trying to ignore the feeling of my heart, once up in my throat, sinking lower and lower into the bottom of my stomach.<br/><br/></p><p class="western">It seemed like an eternity, although realistically I’d guess it was only about ten seconds. Count it to yourself, imagine standing in a doorway for ten whole seconds trying to will somebody in the room to turn and notice you. Takes forever, right?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Anyway, finally, he turned, our eyes locking.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"><em>“Kagome</em>...<em>”</em> he said slowly, his voice sounding far away, a phenomenon I was used to at that point so it didn’t phase me in the slightest.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Silently, I motioned for him to come with me, follow me out of the room so as to let his mother sleep. He seemed to understand, glancing back sadly in his mother’s direction before turning and walking my way, making not a sound as he did so.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Another thing I was used to at that point.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha had told me that while making the sound of footsteps was something ghosts had to deliberately do, it was also one of the easiest things for them to do, to let ‘normal’ humans hear them and be aware of their presence, but it still took an extra amount of energy to accomplish and so most of the time Inuyasha didn’t bother, using his energy to be visible to me instead.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Kohaku was new and didn’t yet know all the tricks of the trade, and if I had my way he wouldn’t yet for a <em>very</em> long time. Logically I knew that he would one day die, as would we all, but I wanted Kohaku to live another good sixty years, at least, before it would finally be time for him to learn what all it meant to be a ghost. I was refusing to even think of him in such a way in that moment. He wasn’t a ghost because he wasn’t dead. He was alive, in a coma, and merely having a <em>very vivid</em> out-of-body experience, astral projecting his spirit. That’s how I was choosing to think of him. A lost soul, and one I could hopefully help find the way...and <em>not</em> into the light.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Granted, it wasn’t necessarily a one-way trip. That knowledge was a stress reliever, for sure. You heard sometimes of near death experiences where people talked about going some place, of seeing family and friends, and somebody would tell them it wasn’t their time yet and that they needed to go back. The only problem was, as Inuyasha had explained it, going to the other side usually stretched the thread connecting the spirit and body too thin, and if the soul ‘moved on’ then the body would die as a result...at least without modern medical intervention. That was the catch.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yes, if he moved on there would still be the chance that he could come back later, but <em>only </em>if we managed to save the life of his body in the meantime, so while going into the light wasn’t a one-way trip in and of itself we still only had one shot at saving his life if he did. If we blew it, he died, whether his ghost decided to return from the other side at some point or not. The silver lining, at least, was that Kohaku was already in a hospital. Provided they saved him in time, he could stay on life support indefinitely, if it came to that. It wasn’t like the movie Ghost Dad where it was a race against the clock because his body was going to die if his soul didn’t return to it. The bad news was that if he did decide to ‘move on’ it would <em>then</em> be a race against the clock to save his body before he suffered any major brain damage. Yet I didn’t know how to warn the doctors to be on stand-by without sounding like a crazy person; it wasn’t the sounding crazy part that bothered me either, it was that nobody would <em>believe</em> me if they thought I was crazy.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">A person could be crazy and still be <em>right</em>.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I should have just woken my aunt.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Kohaku went with me out into the hall. I saw Mary as we passed and she gave me a look that translated as ‘good luck’. Kohaku gave her a sad smile as we passed, which made me nervous.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“The women’s restroom?” he questioned as we reached the door, his voice now sounding like it was coming from the body I could see standing beside me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“So we can talk privately,” I answered, after a quick glance around to make sure no one was coming up the hall.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“There’s not really that much to talk about though, is there?” he asked as he followed me into the small, single person room, and the finality in his voice had me whirling around to face him as I resisted the urge to yell frantically that it wasn’t his time yet.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He believed it was, and that knowledge scared the shit out of me. The only comfort I could find as I looked into his eyes was the obvious remorse I could see there. He believed it was his time, but he also felt guilty for his mother’s pain.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He had just been sticking around because he’d wanted to say goodbye to his family through me. Because Mary and Inuyasha had both told him to sit tight because I was on my way to speak with him. The good news there was that I’d figured he wouldn’t leave until he’d had his goodbyes. That bought me some time, or so I’d thought.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Calming down some in my belief, I’d smiled then, trying a different approach.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You’re right, there’s not that much to talk about, except for when you’re going to go back into your body.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He kind of slumped his shoulders at that and gave off the impression of sighing although he made no sound of exhaled breath.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Kagome, be reasonable,” he said softly, both sounding and looking tired of this argument. I knew I was the third person he’d had this conversation with that evening. “I died.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“No, you didn’t,” I stated quietly but with authority. “I realize you’ll be in for some physical therapy, but you’re not <em>that</em> injured. With time, you can and probably <em>will</em> make a full recovery. Don’t you want to continue living, continue experiencing all that life has to offer?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He bit his lower lip, looking hesitant on what to say, and without giving him time to answer I continued.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Inuyasha can vouch for how bad it sucks to die young, how much he missed out on.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Yeah, but...now, it’s like he’s immortal! That’s way cooler.” Some of his excitement was back, now, like the reaction he’d had when I’d first told him about and introduced him to Inuyasha last summer.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"><em>“You </em><em><span class="u">will</span></em><em> die, one day</em>...<em>”</em> Inuyasha’s disembodied voice said in that moment, which didn’t surprise me because I’d felt his presence with me the entire time. <em>“What’s the hurry?”</em></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Kohaku looked at me for a moment longer before lowering his eyes. I didn’t want him to feel like we were ganging up on him, but on the other hand, I was glad I had Inuyasha’s help.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Plus think of your parents, and Sango.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Sister...” Kohaku sighed with a far away look, before meeting my eyes again with a look of determination. For a second I got my hopes up, but he dashed them just as quickly. “She’ll understand, if you help me talk to her.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">For a second I thought about blackmailing him, refusing to help, telling him that if he stubbornly wanted to die then he would have to do so without saying any goodbyes because I wouldn’t, <em>couldn’t</em> face our family with such news. But even though I was scared shitless, and honestly didn’t want to face them, I just couldn’t find it in me to say such a thing to him. Not because I was afraid he’d try to call my bluff, but because I was afraid he wouldn’t even think I was bluffing, accepting my position and moving on on his own, without telling anyone goodbye first. I’d really catch hell for it then, my aunt and uncle probably never forgiving me, not to mention my own failure would eat me alive.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I decided to be completely honest, then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I <em>really</em> don’t want to have to give them any messages from you,” I said, almost begging as I added, “<em>Please</em>, don’t make me.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">If I couldn’t make him want to live for his own sake, I’d hoped that maybe, just maybe, I could guilt him into it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I...let me think about it,” he said then, his expression unsure. “Maybe...maybe I’ll be back.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I didn’t like where this was going.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“If you go to the other side the strain will be too much for your body,” I warned him. “The tether connecting your soul to your body might snap like a rubber band, you might stop breathing.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d known the risk of giving him that information, but I’d felt it couldn’t be helped. I hadn’t wanted him to accidentally do anything unintentionally because he had lacked such knowledge. He could go anywhere on Earth and the distance wouldn’t matter; it wasn’t a matter of how far he went in that sense of the word. That was why those few who had in fact mastered the skill could astral project and travel the world. China was closer than the exact same spot in that hospital on the other side of that invisible border between worlds. Inuyasha had said that a rare treasured few people <em>could </em>astral project to the ‘other side’ but it was like deep sea divers who had trained themselves to hold their breath for like ten minutes. It took <em>lots </em>of practice.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Kohaku had indeed not known about this limitation, his eyes widening a bit at the news. Then, much to my horror, he smiled an almost relieved, peaceful smile.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Then that takes care of it,” he said simply.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"><em>No</em>...</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“No, Kohaku, wait a minute, please...”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’s all right, Kagome,” he attempted to reassure me. “I won’t let my parents blame you. I’ll tell them myself, in their dreams, that it was my decision and you tried to stop me.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’s not even them blaming me that I dread as much as me blaming myself!” I admitted. “I don’t want to tell them not because I fear their reaction, but because I don’t want to have to tell them I <em>failed</em>.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Okay, so I did fear their reaction, too, but it was still true that I didn’t want to have to deliver the bad news in and of itself. I’d feel like a police officer having to perform that unfortunate duty, coupled with the guilt of being the paramedic who had attempted and failed to save the loved one’s life.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">His eyes softened at my words, seeing the sincerity behind my gaze, my honest desire for him to live. I was silently pleading for him to understand, to change his mind.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“<em>Kohaku,”</em> Inuyasha chimed in again,<em> “we don’t want you to regret any decisions made in haste</em>. <em>If you die, then change your mind, it will be too late</em>.<em>”</em></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">That was the heart of it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I understand your need to think it over,” I added then, “but if you go to the other side and stop breathing then it could cause severe brain damage even if the doctors resuscitate you and then your decision will be made <em>for</em> you. If at that time you change your mind it could be too late. Just stay in <em>this</em> realm while you weigh the pros and cons so that your body will still be available to you, just in case.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I flashed my cousin a hesitant smile. I was nervous, but ultimately knew this was the right move; it had to be Kohaku’s decision. I <em>wanted </em>to insist that he rejoin with his body right in that very minute, but as a therapist, I knew I couldn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want to do. As a ghost whisperer, for lack of a better term, I knew even more vividly that I was at the mercy of whatever the spirit agreed to do. If we could just get him to agree to listen, that was half the battle.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He released another silent sigh; it was no longer weird for me to see such a thing without hearing any audible accompaniment.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Do what you need to do, if you want to save my body so badly,” he said defiantly. “But I’m crossing over. What I want to see and experience isn’t <em>in </em>this realm.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">His tone of voice revealed his decision was final.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Without a backwards glance, I was out the door.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Racing back to Kohaku’s room I was prepared to be lectured by somebody about running in the hall but there thankfully wasn’t anyone around. On the other hand, we would be needing a doctor in a minute, so the deserted hall was rather worrisome. We were only going to get one shot at this.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Dashing into his room, I wasn’t surprised to see that everything was still calm in that precise moment. After all, Kohaku hadn’t left yet, and his body wouldn’t go into arrest until after he did. Until then, he was still just unconscious. My frantic appearance succeeded in waking my aunt.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Kagome...?” Aunt Susan asked in confusion, blinking the sleep from her eyes as she sat up. “What...?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I-”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">My words were immediately cut off by a disembodied voice only I could hear.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“<em>Tell her</em>...<em>tell her I love her, and that I’m sorry</em>...<em>”</em></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I glanced all around for the source of the voice, finally spotting him behind me in the doorway. He was transparent. “You can tell her yourself, Kohaku,” I answered, getting desperate. Realizing his mother was freaking out now by this little display I begged shamelessly, “Kohaku <em>please</em>...”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“<em>Goodbye</em>...<em>”</em> was all he said, as he faded away.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“No!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Kagome!” my aunt said again, on her feet and desperate, and so I told her a quick rundown of my conversation with her son.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Tears were running down my cheeks unchecked as I apologized for my failure, while at the same time reassuring her that it wasn’t too late and that I <em>wasn’t</em> giving up. Examining his body I discovered with dread that he had in fact stopped breathing. I would’ve actually given anything to be wrong in that moment and look like a total idiot for worrying my aunt for no good reason, but I wasn’t wrong. Aunt Susan was beyond wide awake now, screaming Kohaku’s name over and over.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I ran back to the doorway. “Help!” I yelled out into the hall, not caring how many other patients might have been trying to sleep. “Code Blue! Code Blue!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">An orderly ran by, summoned by my shouting, and I immediately told him that Kohaku had stopped breathing. He started crying out for the doctor as well, then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Suddenly, Kohaku’s heart monitor stopped beeping, instead giving off that horrible, steady tone. He was flat lining.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Shit!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">That came from Inuyasha, and I knew it was serious.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“No...no no no no!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Running up to my cousin’s body I immediately started administering continuous-chest-compression CPR. In my panic I still knew there was no point in pausing to breathe into his mouth; I knew he wasn’t going to be waking up and so my only goal was to keep his blood pumping, to help his brain last as long as possible by cirulating what precious oxygen his blood had left.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“K-Kagome...?” Voice quiet, Aunt Susan was crying too now.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’s all right Aunt Susan,” I said with conviction. “As long as we can save his body I haven’t given up on him yet!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">A few people rushed into the room then and so I let them take over, as they began using the defibrillator. Biting my lower lip, I was feeling worse with every zap. I hadn’t thought about his heart stopping; if he had only stopped breathing then a simple breathing tube would have solved the problem. I especially hadn’t thought that they wouldn’t be able to get his heart started again. Why the hell wasn’t it working!?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">They tried to get my aunt and me to leave the room but we only backed away a few feet, giving them room to work. We refused to leave otherwise, and they didn’t have time to worry about arguing with us about it. Frantically, Aunt Susan embraced me, grabbing both of my upper arms almost to the point of pain. At least she was no longer afraid to make eye contact with me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Kagome!” she pleaded, not angry at all but hopelessly upset. She even shook me a little. “Tell me <em>exactly </em>what happened with Kohaku’s spirit!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">And so I did, I gave her the full version of our conversation, including Inuyasha’s parts, uncaring of the medical staff that could’ve been listening in, provided they were paying us any attention, as preoccupied as they were.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Once I got to the part where I couldn’t convince him to go back into his body right now and had conceded to let him think about it I crumbled against her.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I’m so s-sorry!” I cried. “I told him to just stay in <em>this</em> realm! I t-told him not to cross over!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Amazingly, she didn’t blame me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You...you did what you could, Kagome...” she said slowly as she awkwardly rubbed her right hand down and through my hair in what was supposed to be a reassuring gesture. “Kohaku...he’s always been a stubborn one, always independent.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I pulled back and out of the embrace, turning to glance back at the doctors.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“But it wasn’t supposed to be like this,” I said, distraught.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I’m sorry, miss...” one of the medical staff said to me then, everyone looking remorseful. “Sometimes...sometimes these things just-”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“No! Don’t give me that,” I interrupted, not rudely – or at least that wasn’t my intention. “I’m a medium and can communicate with ghosts. Kohaku said he just needed to think about it; he’s got some mild brain damage and wasn’t sure if he wanted to come back to life or not. The other side’s very appealing. But he’s only supposed to be <em>thinking </em>about it and in the meantime we need to save his body so that if he <em>wants</em> to, he can return!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">All the medical staff kind of paused to stare at me then, probably assuming my grief was getting to me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I turned to look at the one nurse in the room that nobody else could see. The only one who knew I wasn’t crazy.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Nurse Mary, help me out here. What can we do?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">That earned a few raised eyebrows, a couple of the living nurses’ eyes widening in surprise. The ghost of Nurse Mary had a bit of a reputation in their hospital, after all.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“We must restart his heart,” Mary said with conviction.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I have an idea...<em>” </em>came Inuyasha’s disembodied voice immediately afterwards.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I wasn’t sure what he was planning but in the meantime we couldn’t just stand around doing nothing. Ignoring the living doctors’ expressions I pleaded with them, “<em>Please</em>, just zap him again!”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It hadn’t been that long yet, after all. Maybe three or four minutes, and they had a breathing tube standing by. If we could just get his heart going again there was still a chance.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Reluctantly, the doctor complied, charging up the machine, but right when he touched the paddles to Kohaku’s bare chest the lights flickered and when he tried to zap him nothing happened, the machine suddenly drained of all its power.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Move away from him!” shouted a powerful, male voice, that I immediately realized everyone in the room could hear by their reactions.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Wha-!” the doctor with the dead defibrillator paddles started, completely baffled.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Do as Inuyasha says,” I said then, urgently, and dropping the paddles, clearly frightened, the doctor backed away.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">That was Inuyasha?” my aunt asked. I nodded.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’ll be all right now,” Mary said, and I don’t think anyone else heard her although I glanced her way with hopeful eyes. She nodded reassuringly.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">What happened next would have the hospital gossiping for <em>years </em>to come.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The defibrillator machine started shaking and sparking, everyone backing away, including myself, everyone nervously wondering just what the hell was going on, although for myself personally I was less afraid of what was happening and more just nervous over whether or not it would work.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Suddenly, Inuyasha’s form appeared, one hand on the machine, which kept registering power drain on its gauge. It would build back up and then drain again as if used, build and drain, build and drain, and Inuyasha’s form almost started to glow, little sparks of electricity coming off of him. Yet his hair wasn’t all fly away from the electricity, looking just as perfect as ever even as I felt my own hair geting frizzy from the energy in the room. If it hadn’t been such a dire moment I would’ve been playfully envious.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I heard my aunt gasp, and all the doctors and nurses were staring with wide eyes and dropped jaws, and I realized in that moment that they could all see him too, now.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Don’t touch me,” he warned, his tone gentle but firm, and the one nurse who’d been moving towards Inuyasha as if to see if he was really real backed away again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">With one hand still on the machine, Inuyasha reached with his other hand into Kohaku’s chest, and the monitors still attached to the boy beeped for a moment every time he zapped his heart. It still wasn’t working, but it was quite a sight to behold.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha closed his eyes, as if concentrating, and suddenly Kohaku’s heart was beating again, although when Inuyasha didn’t pull his hand away I quickly realized that he was simply manipulating his heart in a way to make it beat properly. I doubted he had a human hand grabbing and squeezing the heart. Being energy, and with as much energy as Inuyasha was absorbing in that moment, I imagined that what disappeared into Kohaku’s chest became a type of netting of energy that fully embraced the heart and coaxed it to move properly with delicately placed compressions and zaps. There was no way Inuyasha would’ve been able to pull something like that off without the aid of the electricity from the defibrillator, and even with his other hand still firmly on the machine and the machine continually refueling him it still looked like whatever he was doing was a tremendous strain. He was making Kohaku’s heart beat, but it still wouldn’t beat on its own once he let go, and so he wasn’t letting go.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Breathing tube,” Inuyasha said suddenly, and Kohaku’s doctor braved approaching the glowing ghost that was my boyfriend in order to insert said tube.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">As Kohaku’s chest began rising and falling my aunt and I sagged in relief, at least knowing that new oxygen was now going into his system, and that thanks to Inuyasha, his blood was circulating it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha couldn’t just stay like that forever, though. We had to get his heart beating again on its own.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Adrenaline,” Nurse Mary said suddenly, and Inuyasha immediately repeated it for the doctors to hear before I could.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Somebody fumbled over to the side of the room at his command and produced a special needle they then, with shaking hands, managed to fill from a little glass bottle.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Now!” Inuyasha commanded, pulling his electrified hand from Kohaku’s chest and – unbeknownst to me at the time – disappearing from view to everyone but myself.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The doctor immediately plunged the syringe into Kohaku’s heart. The heart monitor started beeping like mad and everyone held their own breaths for a moment as the machine continued to breathe for my cousin, as we waited to see if his heart would stop again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It didn’t.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I sagged to the floor, emotionally exhausted, as the doctors, nurses and my aunt all cheered. I was vaguely aware of other doctors and nurses rushing up to the doorway, asking what was going on, and Kohaku’s doctor explaining that the most incredible, amazing thing he’d ever witnessed in all his life had just happened. It didn’t take long at all for the story to spread. I was a medium, and my spirit guide, Inuyasha, along with Nurse Mary whom a lot of the hospital staff had already believed existed, had just aided in saving my cousin’s life. I didn’t pull out of my shock until I registered the sensation of somebody taking a seat on the floor beside me, Aunt Susan’s head tilting back to thump lightly against the wall behind us.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You’re...you’re truly amazing, Kagome,” she said. Words I’d never thought I’d hear from her mouth. “Tell Inuyasha I...I’m in his debt.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I shook my head lightly, a faint smile gracing my lips.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“We still have to get Kohaku’s soul to come back from the afterlife,” I said, not trying to sound like a Debbie Downer although I’d wanted to make sure my aunt understood the fact that, for the moment, Kohaku was still brain dead.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She merely nodded.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Like you said, the important thing was saving his body.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She gestured with a nod of her head up to her son’s hospital bed, his heart monitor beeping away. His pulse wasn’t as frantic as it’d been a minute ago, having steadied into a healthy rhythm.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“So long as the body is alive, there is always a chance, always a choice,” I said. “Inuyasha told me that. It depends on how much brain damage there is, and if the brain damage is too severe then it makes sense not to come back, but in Kohaku’s case, he could.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She swallowed nervously.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I...I never expected Inuyasha to look so...”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Human?” I supplied.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Releasing a shaky breath, my aunt just as emotionally exhausted as I was, she nodded again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Was it...was it scary, when you first discovered your gift?” she asked me then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I told her the truth, that no, I was never afraid of ghosts. I even told her the little story about having seen Dad’s ghost at age six, and fleeting glimpses of my grandmother’s ghost, and how I’d probably always had the gift since I was born but for the majority of my life I’d turned it off, tuned it out. To put it simply, I’d been in denial.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I’d already told her the story about how I’d gone to the graveyard with my friends the Halloween before last, and she was also already familiar with the old legends of Inuyasha and Kikyou’s tragedy from my university. She knew precisely who Inuyasha was. She still didn’t know he and I were involved romantically, and I’d figured that’d be a bit too much for her to digest in that moment, but I did tell her as we sat there listening to Kohaku’s heart monitor that Inuyasha and I had become close friends during the short time we’d both been working together to help Kikyou’s spirit find peace, and that he’d decided to stick around afterwards instead of just moving on himself because he didn’t really <em>want </em>to move on.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Instead, if he could help me help other spirits, as I now wanted to do, then he’d wanted to be a part of that because he was my friend, and also because it was a noble cause he was glad to be a part of. It was the best reason I could think of for why he’d wanted to stick around without admitting the <em>real </em>reason, because he was in love with me, but I hadn’t really lied since the reason I gave was also true. He was indeed my best friend, besides just my boyfriend. Sango was my best <em>girlfriend </em>but there was nothing I couldn’t tell Inuyasha, and some of the time, my problems were things that I could <em>only </em>tell Inuyasha.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Speaking of my ghostly boyfriend, he was still present, and visible to me thanks to his power boost. He was leaning casually against the far wall, giving me and my aunt some privacy as he studied Kohaku’s body. I’d wondered what he was thinking, and I’d <em>really </em>wanted to thank him for that amazing stunt of his, but that moment belonged to Aunt Susan as I listened to her confess to me her own personal ghost story, and why she was afraid of spirits. Turned out, she’d spent a few years of her childhood in a haunted house until her parents had moved once the activity had gotten to be too much. She didn’t have my gift and couldn’t see a ghost unless the ghost put forth the effort to let normal humans see it, but she told me in that moment about all the other signs of the haunting.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">All the footsteps in the middle of the night, chairs scraping across the floor, the disembodied voices. There had been more than one spirit, and they had not been happy spirits. Her parents had found out that a murder/suicide had taken place in that house, a husband having shot his wife and then himself, and, apparently, the ghost of the wife was <em>still</em> being tormented by the ghost of her husband to that day.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You’ll have to give me the address so I can pay that house a visit,” I told my aunt causally as I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, the lights starting to give me a headache because of all my crying. “Thank you...for telling me,” I added after a moment, my eyes still closed.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Keh, no wonder finding out you were in the ghost business freaked her out so badly,” I heard Inuyasha say.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I nodded a little to acknowledge his words.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“So now what happens?” she asked me then. I cracked my eyes back open and turned my head to look at her, my expression serious.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Now, we give Kohaku time, and pray he ultimately decides that life is worth living.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She swallowed, but nodded, not arguing the point. I was helpless, and I hated it. She understood.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I can go talk to him,” Inuyasha said then, and I snapped my eyes back to him.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He chuckled at the flicker of worry behind all the hope in my gaze. “Don’t worry, <em>I </em>will always come back to you, no matter what your cousin decides. Won’t be my first trip to the other side. My place is with you.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">If my aunt hadn’t been sitting right next to me I would’ve gushed to him just how much I loved him in that moment. The look in his eyes assured me he understood, though, as well as reassuring me he felt the same way.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Of course, the way he’d suddenly captured my full attention did not go unnoticed by the woman sitting beside me, and she asked me with a worried edge what was wrong. I immediately reassured her that nothing was wrong, that Inuyasha had merely surprised me by suddenly saying that he could go talk to Kohaku. I phrased it in such a way to let her assume I was implying Inuyasha had just reappeared in the room. No need to let her know he’d been chilling against the back wall the whole time she and I talked.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Her eyes lit up with hope as well at this news. Regretfully, I’d emphasized that all Inuyasha could do was talk with Kohaku. It wasn’t as if he could physically grab a hold of the boy and drag him back kicking and screaming. She understood. She was still tremendously grateful to know that we had an ally on our side who could at the very least go and talk with her son, instead of all of us being locked away from him and completely at Kohaku’s mercy, whatever he decided.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">This was true.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Honestly, I was just as grateful, hoping that with luck, Inuyasha could get through to the boy. Unfortunately, there was nothing we living humans could do in the meantime except wait.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Christmas Miracle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Chapter four: Christmas Miracle</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I was restless all through the rest of the night, staying in Kohaku’s hospital room with his family. Aunt Susan had called her husband and daughter shortly after Inuyasha went after Kohaku and they had since both shown up as well. I’d waited until a decent time of morning to call my mother to let her know what’d happened the night before, not feeling it was enough of an emergency to warrant <em>everyone</em> showing up in the predawn hours since all we were really doing was playing the waiting game. She, Souta and Gramps were on their way.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">A couple of times some member of the medical staff or another had poked their head in to see how we were all doing, or to ask me if I could really see and speak with the ghost of Nurse Mary. Letting them know we were fine, and that there was no change with Kohaku yet, I always told whomever asked me that yes, I’d spoken with Mary, and at Mary’s own request I’d also spread the word on just who exactly she really was.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Everyone knew her name was Mary from the few people who’d caught a fleeting glimpse of her and had also managed to read her name tag, but thanks to the rest of her appearance they’d all assumed she was a nurse from the 1960s who’d died back then; they had been unable to find any records of a nurse matching her description that’d passed away. They hadn’t bothered looking into the records of <em>living </em>staff from the ‘60s, who’d survived to modern times, or they would’ve found Mary’s picture. It was no wonder no death records had matched up when Mary had actually only died a few years ago.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Once everyone found out she was <em>that </em>Mary, just wearing her youthful appearance, I got a lot of people asking me to give her messages for them, and I had to keep explaining to them that she was always around and could see and hear them just fine, it was just hard for <em>her</em> to communicate with <em>them</em> in return. Feeling I owed Mary a favor, big time, for all her help with Kohaku, I’d gladly relayed whatever messages <em>she’d </em>wanted me to give to the living staff.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">My aunt had told me at around 6am that I should get some sleep, that I looked even worse than she felt. Funnily enough, I’d laughed at that. A genuine laugh, and I could tell from the half-smile she’d cracked that her own joke had cheered her up a little, as well. If one good thing had come out of this whole mess it was that she was no longer afraid of me. But I did <em>not</em> want the price of such acceptance to be her son’s life. I’d take her downright hating my guts if it meant getting Kohaku back. I’d prayed that hopefully, before too much longer, we <em>would </em>be getting him back.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sango had shared her mother’s sentiment that I’d looked like I needed a nap, gazing my way from her place sitting cross-legged on the floor across the room from me, her back against the wall. She was supposed to go into work in a few hours but had said with conviction she would be calling off again. How could she possibly go into work at a time like this? Family came first.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I was inclined to agree. That was why, despite how exhausted I’d felt, I hadn’t wanted to sleep. How could I sleep not knowing the fate of my darling cousin? Inuyasha had been gone for over five hours at that point, and I knew that, according to him, time passed differently on the other side. Things are much less...linear, there, than they are here on Earth. I’d tried to assure my aunt and uncle that no news was actually good news, because surely if Kohaku had told Inuyasha to get lost and that he wasn’t returning Inuyasha himself would’ve been back by now. It was just too bad we were at the mercy of Inuyasha returning to inform us of what <em>was </em>going on.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Can’t you get a hold of him?” Aunt Susan asked me then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I shook my head, regret clear in my eyes.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“My gift...I don’t have any connections to the other side like that,” I explained. “No psychic powers. And if there’s a spell for summoning I don’t know how to do it. I’d be afraid of trying magic, anyway, in case something went wrong. My version of summoning is just me calling out into the ether no differently from any of you, just speaking out, with it being completely up to the ghosts whether they hear me or not, whether they’re listening or not.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“But...” Aunt Susan started, letting her words trail off with a furrow of her brow.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Where I’m special is that I can communicate with the ghosts in <em>this</em> realm,” I explained then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Maybe one of the reasons she’d feared me so much this whole time was because she’d thought I was like a ghost magnet or something, with spirits popping up from the other side all around me. I know I kind of ripped off the Ghost Whisperer speech to explain myself, but I was actually relieved my life <em>wasn’t – </em>and still isn’t – like that old TV show. Ghosts don’t sense me from the other side and come flocking to my doorstep in droves. Thank goodness.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I’m really not that special,” I chimed back in then. “I can just...see and hear ghosts a lot easier than other people for some reason. And I have my partner in crime, so to speak, Inuyasha acting like my spirit guide to help me make contact when I need it. But even then he’s only helping me communicate with ghosts that’re actually <em>here</em>, in our dimension, just invisible, even to me. He helps them figure out how to become visible to me so that I can then communicate with them directly. Normally, he doesn’t go away like this to go find another spirit on the other side. I’m not in the business of helping somebody get in contact with a past loved one they just want to get in contact with, I just want to help restless ghosts trapped <em>here </em>to find closure. But of course, this is a special case, and Inuyasha volunteered to go speak with Kohaku. Even so, all Inuyasha can honestly do in a situation like this is ask the person to come forward; they can say no.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sango gave me a knowing wink at the way I described Inuyasha, as if he were <em>only</em> my business partner, but her parents didn’t notice.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“But why is Kohaku staying away?” Uncle Hayato asked me then. “Why did he leave in the first place?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I can understand,” Sango spoke up before I could answer, saving me from having to say it. “I know I don’t <em>really</em> get what it’s like, but I can understand the appeal.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Well <em>I </em>can’t,” Aunt Susan said with a shaky voice, trying desperately to hold back her tears. “He’s choosing death over his family.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She sounded so heart broken.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’s not so black and white,” I said then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It’d taken a little while for Inuyasha to get me to understand that fact, but now I got it. I’d hated the betrayal in her eyes, so I’d felt compelled to at least try to explain.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Things are...different, when you’re on the other side. It’s not personal. He feels...I guess enlightened is the best word, and from his perspective, once you eventually die too then you’ll also understand. Time is also different on the other side, so in his mind if he’s waiting for all of you to join him one day, it’s not really like he’s waiting all the years it’ll take from our perspective.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Aunt Susan nodded to that, looking like she understood, she just didn’t <em>like </em>it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Thinking about it, I knew I could only imagine what it was really like for Kohaku in his current situation. Even with all my insight, I knew I couldn’t <em>really </em>understand until I too eventually died. My cousin had just spent the last few hours with Inuyasha experiencing what it was like to be a ghost, to be ‘immortal’ as he’d called it, although I found that a funny way of thinking about it when you take the actual definition of the word into consideration.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Still, I could understand how something like that would be hard to give up, although, on the other hand, like Inuyasha had said, he would die <em>eventually, </em>so then what was the hurry? I certainly had no desire or intention of killing myself to get there early. Inuyasha was adamant that I live out my life to the fullest and I was inclined to agree. Actually, if he’d <em>wanted </em>me to kill myself that would have probably put a dampener on our whole relationship, because while I was not afraid of death I was certainly in no hurry to die. It would happen when it happened. That being said, if I <em>did </em>die, in an accident, but then had the opportunity to come back to life again, would I want to take it?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Tough call.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I suppose, though, that I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, so yes, if my body had been saved, I <em>would </em>choose to go back into it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sango had asked me once if Inuyasha could go into somebody <em>else’s</em> body, a person that was brain dead, their soul moved on for good. He’d kind of danced around the fact that such a thing was physically possible by saying only that it wasn’t right. Personally, I agreed. Plus I wasn’t so desperate for him to have physical form that I’d take him in anyone else’s body. We could be physically intimate in my dreams, and he also got to experience other things, like eating and drinking, so as far as we were both concerned that was good enough.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">True, they were only imagined experiences, but imagination was the most powerful force of all. Just like the movie What Dreams May Come had said, thought is real, physical is the illusion.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Noticing my contemplative expression, Aunt Susan had asked me what was on my mind in that moment. I’d explained to her then about how, while Inuyasha personally viewed life like an amusement park, and dying early meant you had to leave the park before getting to go on all of the rides, I’d since realized that to other people, the opposite could also be true. I explained that it wasn’t as if being a spirit meant you were part of some massive group collective consciousness where your individuality got erased.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Okay yes, there <em>was </em>some kind of other realm that was the spirit realm, where everyone was nothing but energy with no human form, but you were still <em>you, </em>as Inuyasha had explained it to me. Different ghosts could definitely have differing views and opinions, even when it came to perceiving the universe around them. That was why some spirits moved on, while others chose to remain on Earth as ghosts. Inuyasha loved the physical realm, finding the other side boring. On the other hand, to other people, life was more like waiting in line to get <em>into </em>the amusement park, and now that Kohaku had gotten in and was experiencing the E Ticket that it was to be able to go anywhere, see anything and practically know <em>everything</em>, we were asking him to leave it all behind with the promise that, someday, he’d get to go back again. When you looked at it <em>that </em>way, it made it easier to understand the boy’s hesitation. He <em>was </em>just a boy, after all. What boy didn’t want to stay longer in the amusement park after being told it was time to leave?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“If it’s really so great then how come your Inuyasha likes it here on Earth better?” Uncle Hayato asked me then, his tone of voice teetering right on the border of confused and suspicious.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I nearly blushed at his comment of ‘my’ Inuyasha, Sango giving me another wink that was <em>not </em>helping, but then before I could formulate a reply somebody beat me to it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Just like she just explained,” Aunt Susan came to my defense, of all people. “Different people have different opinions, and Inuyasha just likes it better here while Kohaku thinks it’s better over there.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Besides, Inuyasha is part of something noble,” Sango chimed in then. “Just like he was trying to get Kohaku to see that his mortality ensures it’ll eventually be his time, so too will Kagome die one day, and he...and she, if she likes...can ‘move on’ at that time. Right now though, he’s helping her with her calling while she’s still alive. After hanging around for Kikyou’s sake for fifty years pretty much bored out of his mind, what he does with Kagome now is <em>way </em>more exiting and fulfilling.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">How she’d managed to say all that with a straight face I’d never know.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“To Inuyasha, the other side’s just not all it’s cracked up to be, and he just likes it here better,” I reiterated then. “It’s not uncommon in ghosts who feel they were ripped off in life.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“But <em>Kohaku </em>was <em>definitely </em>ripped off...” Aunt Susan said then, not really arguing because she understood now, Kohaku’s position. She just had her own, different opinion. It was Kohaku himself she wanted to argue with.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">All I could do was shrug, and I hated it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You know how teenagers are,” Sango said then. “He already acted like he knew everything, so I’m not surprised he’d think he was so much more enlightened than the rest of us now.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Hey!” Souta said, appearing in the doorway just in time to hear Sango’s comment about teenagers. “I resemble that.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I chuckled as Souta came in the rest of the way and took a seat on the floor beside me, my mother and grandfather piling into the room right after him. Mom took one look at me and also insisted I get some sleep. I’d tried again to protest that I needed to stay awake in case something changed, in case something happened, but Mom only reminded me of how Inuyasha could visit me in my dreams. If something happened while I was asleep he could <em>easily </em>let me know and wake me up, in that order.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Right after Mom finished explaining that to me, I heard Mary’s disembodied voice also tell me that if Inuyasha were unable to for whatever reason, <em>she </em>would wake me up if I was needed. Finally conceding, then, I agreed to take a nap. Uncle Hayato also told his wife to get some sleep. It was a little past 9am at that point and the two of us were both completely exhausted. Claiming possession the two chairs in the room, complete with blankets and pillows one of the nurses had given us a few hours ago, this time she and I slouched and tried to get comfortable rather than sitting upright and talking to help keep each other awake.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I heard the others continue talking quietly for a while, as I sat there with my eyes closed.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“What a Christmas,” Souta mumbled quietly from his place beside me, his head thumping lightly against the wall as he leaned back.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“At least this way the whole family’s together,” I replied with my eyes still closed, trying to stay positive.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Sleep,” I heard my mother’s voice say then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Sighing, I tried to tune out the sounds of medical machinery, allowing my mind to wander.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Thinking about my ghost boyfriend, who was still MIA, I found myself wondering what, exactly, was happening on the other side. Was he having a hard time locating Kohaku? Were they having an argument? Was Inuyasha taking Kohaku around and showing him what all he’d miss out on in life if he died? Could Inuyasha show him a vision of what the future would be like for the rest of <em>us </em>if he died, like Kohaku was Ebenezer Scrooge and Inuyasha was the Ghost of Christmas Future something? It <em>was </em>Christmas Eve. In that moment I had a flash of a daydream of Kohaku waking up in the morning, asking what day it was, and when we told him, why, it’s Christmas Day, he’d be thrilled he hadn’t missed it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I chuckled to myself quietly at the random thought, my mind successfully drifting further and further into la la land. I don’t honestly know how long I was still awake before sleep finally claimed me, but looking back on it, all I knew was one minute, I was sitting in that chair listening to my family’s quiet voices and Kohaku’s machines, and then in the next moment I was back in the women’s bathroom down the hall, pleading with Kohaku to not do this, to not give up. I was completely oblivious to the fact that I was dreaming, at least at first.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">While I’ve mastered the ability to have lucid dreams without waking up I am still sometimes at the mercy of my unconscious mind informing me of the fact that I am in fact dreaming, even today. Usually, during our nights together, Inuyasha just lets me know right away that it’s a dream. My dreams usually start out rather randomly and in various settings, as dreams are wont to do, because I hadn’t bothered trying to master what my dream would look like initially upon my falling asleep. Inuyasha just comes to me, informs me that I’m dreaming, I realize it’s true without that realization waking me up, and then grinning, we take it from there until my alarm wakes me up.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">In that moment, unaware that I was dreaming, I was being tortured by my own subconscious mind in the form of Kohaku’s image, the same as I’d dreamt of Kikyou that one time way back when, the night I’d originally learned that Inuyasha could appear in my dreams. I was crying, and pleading with him to listen to me, to not be so selfish, that it wasn’t just about <em>him </em>but his poor family. Part of my mind seemed to remember my conversation with his parents that had taken place <em>after</em> my real life conversation with Kohaku in the bathroom, because I also told the specter of my dream that his mother didn’t understand his decision. That she just thought he was choosing death over his family and she was heartbroken because of it. I pleaded for him to understand that he still had so much more to live for, that he’d have the rest of eternity to be dead but he only had the rest of his life to be alive and he shouldn’t waste it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Kohaku wasn’t hearing it, repeating, “Tell them I love them...” over and over like a residual haunting caught in a loop, no intelligence behind it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Of course, the real reason behind that was because he wasn’t the real Kohaku, but at that precise moment I was unaware of that fact. Every time he spoke I grew more and more distraught, until I collapsed to my knees, crying my eyes out.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Suddenly, Inuyasha appeared behind me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Man, your subconscious mind really does love to torment you, doesn’t it? I can’t leave you alone for a minute,” I heard his amused voice say out of nowhere.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Jumping to my feet, I whirled around to face him, and his playful countenance immediately shifted to one of sympathy at my expression.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Nobody’s perfect, Kagome. You did your best. You need to stop beating yourself up over it.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Inuyasha...?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Tell them...tell them I love them...” Kohaku said again, distracting me. I turned back to glance his way.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Tell them yourself,” Inuyasha said dismissively from behind me, my mind still submitting to the fantasy.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"><em>“Goodbye</em>...<em>”</em> Kohaku said suddenly, as he faded away.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Bye,” Inuyasha said in a chipper tone and with a playful wave.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I whirled back around to face my boyfriend in shock as Kohaku disappeared.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Wha...!” I couldn’t believe he’d just said that. “Kohaku wait!” I shouted in delayed reaction after my cousin had already disappeared.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Relax, Kagome,” Inuyasha soothed. “This is just a memory,” he said while gesturing around us at the bathroom. “That wasn’t the real Kohaku.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It...it wasn’t...?” I asked timidly.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He puffed his chest a little, looking smug, perhaps also trying to point out the fact that he was dressed in his favorite shirt and jeans rather than his Halloween costume. “Nope.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Finally, it dawned on me that I was dreaming.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Oh, Inuyasha!” I cried in relief, throwing myself at him.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Instantly, all my memories of real life came rushing back to me. I knew my sleeping body was sitting in a chair in my cousin’s hospital room. Vaguely, I thought I could almost feel my body as I slouched in the chair, but I didn’t drift further awake, my desire to stay in the dream with Inuyasha strong enough to keep me under.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Pulling back from his embrace, I gave him a quick peck on the lips before stepping away and meeting his eyes.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Any luck with the real Kohaku?” I asked him then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Actually...” he started.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I’m right here.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Turning my eyes to meet this new Kohaku’s gaze, surprised by his appearance, he smirked at me and tsked playfully.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“<em>Oooo</em>...” he sing-songed like children do in that ‘you’re in trouble’ kind of teasing voice. “You didn’t tell us Inuyasha is your <em>boyfriend</em>...” he emphasized, amused, like he was going to start singing ‘Inuyasha and Kagome sitting in a tree’ or something.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I blushed, my expression thoroughly destroying any chance of denying it, although it’d turned out that quick kiss hadn’t been what’d given us away, anyway.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Sorry,” Inuyasha apologized, not truly sounding remorseful. “Had to use it as part of my sales pitch.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I do gotta admit, it’s pretty unlikely I’ll ever find myself a girlfriend like this,” Kohaku said then, gesturing to himself up and down. “I didn’t think I cared, but the more we got to talking, the more he got me thinking about growing up, and maybe...maybe I <em>do</em> want to experience more things life still has to offer.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Hentai,” I grumbled to Inuyasha under my breath, hopeful Kohaku wouldn’t understand the term.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha chuckled</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I told him ‘bout how I fell for you, and how I was glad you fell for me too, otherwise if we’d gone our separate ways I would’ve probably chosen to be reincarnated again to lose the memories for a little while.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I nodded my understanding to that. He’d previously explained how, as a spirit, you could remember all of your past lives, but they’re all just kind of there in the back of your mind like vague childhood memories while whoever you were most recently dominates as your truest, or at least <em>latest </em>self.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“If I’d had a chance to come back to life again back when I died I know I would’ve taken it in a heartbeat,” Inuyasha continued then. “Although, all things considered, I’m glad things happened the way they did. All things happen for a reason, right?” he asked somewhat rhetorically, shrugging. “But I hadn’t been <em>given </em>a chance that I’d walked away from, I just died.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He turned and met Kohaku’s gaze.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You, on the other hand, are quite alive.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Yeah, yeah, yeah...” my cousin said, blushing and scuffing his toe, peaking up at me through his bangs.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I’m sorry, Kagome,” Kohaku apologized then. “I didn’t mean to put you through so much.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“That’s all right,” I told him sincerely, resting my hand on his shoulder. “I understand how this is a big decision for you.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Kohaku shrugged, before glancing up Inuyasha’s way a moment.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’s like Inuyasha said,” he told me then. “I shouldn’t be in such a hurry to die. I didn’t realize how lucky I was, but then I spoke with a lot of family members...our grandparents, even your father...and everyone’s telling me it’d be wrong of me to forsake the gift of a second chance. I’m not <em>supposed</em> to die yet, there are things I’m still supposed to do. But, free will and all that.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He shrugged again, and I nodded my understanding once more. Technically, we could all choose to die at any given moment, since we were all physically capable of committing suicide. Didn’t mean we were supposed to up and off ourselves. There is a grand plan, of sorts, but it’s more like the universe just showing us the path it wants us to walk, and in the end it’s up to us whether we walk it or not.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“So are you ready to join the land of the living?” I asked him then, chuckling to myself at the literal way I meant such a commonplace expression.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Glancing down at his feet again, Kohaku blushed a little darker.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Is Mom gonna be mad at me? I never meant to make her cry.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Oh, sweetie, no...”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him into a tight embrace, tilting my head to rest my cheek on the top of his head.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You’ve got nothing to worry about. Nobody’s angry with you for needing to decide what to do, or thinking that maybe you wanted to move on. They’re all just gonna be so relieved that in the end you decided to come back to us. There will be more tears, but tears of <em>joy</em>.”<br/><br/></p><p class="western">He nodded his understanding to that.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Come on, then,” Inuyasha spoke up. “Let’s do this thing.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Go on, I’ll be there in a minute,” Kohaku said.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Pulling back from our embrace, I met his eyes, my hand on his shoulder again. He smiled at me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I promise, I’m right behind you.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I nodded then, and meeting Inuyasha’s eyes, him giving me an encouraging smile and nod, I smiled back and willed myself to wake up. Suddenly, the sounds in the hospital room became crystal clear, my family’s quiet voices, the beeping of Kohaku’s machines, etc. I opened my eyes and, stretching to get the kinks out, I sat up straighter in the chair.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I told you to get some sleep,” my mother said softly, her voice more concerned than commanding.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I blinked in confusion.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I <em>was </em>asleep,” I replied.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“For maybe like two minutes,” Souta said.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Aunt Susan sat up a little during this conversation and said, “Well I haven’t even managed to doze off yet.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You should try to get some real sleep, honey,” Mom said then. “You’ve had a rough night.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Grandpa, the most on the ball at the moment, took what I said about having in fact been asleep and asked, “Did Inuyasha come to you in your sleep just now?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I nodded enthusiastically, which earned everyone else’s attention.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Not just Inuyasha...” I hinted, meeting my aunt’s gaze.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She suddenly sat up much straighter in the chair. “And...?” she asked hesitantly, desperately needing to know but terrified of the answer all the same. It was my warm smile, before I even said anything, that had her sagging in relief.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“What happened?” Uncle Hayato asked me then, wanting the details. His tone of voice was eager and curious, not demanding in the slightest.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I told them how at first I was just having a regular dream – I didn’t bother getting into <em>those </em>details because I wasn’t looking for sympathy – explaining only that my dream shifted when Inuyasha and Kohaku showed up. Without hinting at anything his parents might have deemed too adult of a frame of mind for their thirteen-year-old son, and without revealing my own relationship status with Inuyasha, I said how Inuyasha had managed to get Kohaku to understand that he should grow up and experience more things that life still has to offer. I also revealed that, while on the other side, Kohaku had spoken with some of our deceased family members, and everyone was telling him the same thing, that it wasn’t his time yet and he shouldn’t waste this gift of a second chance at life.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“He’s agreed,” I said. “Kohaku’s agreed to come back to life.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">There were some cheers of joy that drew the attention of a couple of nurses nearby, which was fine because if we were going to be doing this we’d need a doctor to remove his breathing tube when he woke up, anyway. I let them know that Kohaku should be waking momentarily and the nurses rushed to get our doctor. Everyone in the hospital knew my situation by that point, and so nobody questioned me, taking my statement at face value because they knew I knew what I was talking about.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">In that moment I also relayed Kohaku’s fears to his parents, and his regret for upsetting them so. I told Aunt Susan that he was worried she was going to be mad at him, and she immediately reassured, not me, but Kohaku himself, speaking into the air that she absolutely was <em>not </em>angry with him and she was only ever so thankful, feeling so lucky and blessed, that he had chosen to come back to them. I’d been right when I’d said there would be tears of joy, because they were flowing freely down her cheeks in that moment, but her smile was the warmest I’d ever seen, her love for her son shining brilliantly in her eyes.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Her husband echoed the sentiment, then, admitting as he spoke to the invisible Kohaku that while he didn’t <em>really </em>understand, couldn’t really grasp what it was like for him or how tough this decision had been to make, he was so thankful, so very grateful, that he had decided to live again. There were so many father/son things he still wanted the two of them to do together. Sango also chimed in, saying that her job as big sister was to protect her little brother, but how could she protect him from all the unknowns of the other side? He needed to come back to life so that she could protect him again, be a big sister again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Suddenly, the temperature in the room dropped by at least ten degrees, earning all of our attentions. I glanced Inuyasha’s way as his form appeared beside me, my eyebrow cocked in curiosity. He smirked and said, “Don’t look at me, I’m not doing it.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">My mother was giving me the same questioning look I had just given Inuyasha, so I relayed his statement that the sudden drop in temperature was not his doing.<br/><br/></p><p class="western">“Do you think...” my uncle started to say before letting his words trail off.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’s me,” Kohaku said as he appeared, and I realized why he’d drained so much heat out of the room when I saw my family members jump in surprise and look at his body at his words. They couldn’t see his apparition, but he’d made his voice loud enough for everyone to hear.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I sighed in relief at the sight of him, smiling at my aunt and uncle reassuringly when they glanced my way with questioning eyes.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“He’s here,” I confirmed, letting them know they hadn’t been hearing things. Meeting Kohaku’s eyes, I gave him an encouraging nod, while the rest of the family seemingly held their breaths.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I...” Kohaku started, getting choked up.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Minus the actually choking part, of course, since he had no throat to get constricted, although the emotions running through him were powerful enough that I felt an empathetic lump form in my own throat as I tried to keep my eyes from tearing up.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“It’s okay,” I told him then. “We’re all going to be here for you.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Kohaku, baby...” Aunt Susan said then. “I’m not mad at you, honey,” she repeated. “I was only sad at the thought of losing my baby. No parents should have to bury their child.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">His mother couldn’t see it, but Kohaku nodded his understanding.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“I’m not really sure what to do,” he told me then.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Approaching his body, Kohaku hesitated a moment, reaching out with his hand to almost touch his chest before pausing, leaving his hand suspended a few inches above his body. I could only imagine how surreal an experience it was for him.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Inuyasha, watching from the other side of the hospital bed, shrugged.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Just follow your instincts and do what feels natural,” he said.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Everyone was waiting with bated breath, giving me questioning looks. I gestured with my hands for them to be patient a moment, murmuring quietly that Kohaku was working on it and we shouldn’t try to rush him. The doctor had arrived by that time, too, and he too was waiting for my signal, or some sign from Kohaku’s body that he needed immediate aid.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Closing his eyes and concentrating, Kohaku’s ghost began rising up off the floor. It certainly wasn’t as if a ghost needed to walk on the floor or was otherwise restricted by gravity in any way. It was only our own minds and perceptions of the world around us that created such mortal-like limitations for us when we were no longer alive. A ghost could, in reality, float up a flight of steps, or walk right through them, just as easily as actually walking upthe stairs like normal. Drifting higher into the air, Kohaku closed his eyes, as if seeing what needed to be done with his mind’s eye. His body rotated until he was floating horizontally, and then moving over his body lying in the bed, his spirit lowered down into his body.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The first sign that it’d worked, and Kohaku’s ghost wasn’t simply sharing the same space as his body, was when his heart monitor started beeping faster. Then, groaning and with twitching fingers as his hands reached up towards his neck, Kohaku slowly blinked his eyes open, the doctor immediately removing his breathing tube at my insistence that he no longer needed it. Perhaps under normal circumstances they’d leave it in for a while to make sure the patient was strong enough to breathe on their own, but these circumstances weren’t normal and after everything he’d witnessed the doctor was taking my word for it. Kohaku tried to sit up then, but his mother was by his side in an instant, encouraging him to take it easy and not over do it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You’ve been through a lot, sweetie,” Aunt Susan said as she ran her fingers through her son’s bangs.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Wa...” Kohaku tried to say with a grimace. “Wa...”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Giving up, he closed his eyes and clasped his throat lightly with his right hand. It was very hard for him to talk, not only from the soreness of his throat, but also from his head injury. His brains were still a bit rattled, but he’d recover with time.</p><p class="western"><br/>Knowing Kohaku would want water a nurse was already by his side with a small paper cup of ice chips, letting him know apologetically that he could try to sip at more water in a little while but for right now, the chips would have to do.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“You gave us all quite a scare,” the nurse said with a friendly smile as he let an ice chip melt in his mouth and trickle slowly down his throat.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Kohaku tried to offer her a smile in return after the ice was melted, but it turned into another grimace. He took another chip.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Meeting my eyes after that one was gone, he licked his chapped lips and asked me, “Not...dream?”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Nope!” I told him happily. “It wasn’t a dream.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He nodded minutely, before closing his eyes.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Let’s let my boy get some rest,” Uncle Hayato spoke up then. “He’s been through a lot.”</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It was true. While his body had just been lying there his spirit had, if you’ll pardon the expression, been to hell and back.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">As everyone but my aunt and uncle piled out of the hospital room, Sango catching up to me after giving her brother a tender but fierce hug that he weakly returned, I found myself in almost as much of a state of shock as my young cousin. Walking with my family mostly on auto pilot towards the cafeteria, I couldn’t stop thinking along the lines of ‘holy shit, we did it.’</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"><em>We did it</em>... Slowly but surely, it was dawning on me. <em>We freakin’ did it!</em><br/><br/></p><p class="western">~o~o~o~o~o~</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The road to recovery was slow but steady, and we were all there for Kohaku, helping him every step of the way, both literally and figuratively. Being laid up in bed for a month, the first thing he needed to relearn was how to walk, although his muscles bounced back faster than we had been expecting. He hadn’t suffered any negative side effects like blood clots because the hospital had put him on medication for that, so that was one less thing to worry about. Talking was difficult but getting easier every day. The same went for holding things like pens or utensils. Nothing was actually wrong with his thinking and we all understood that, so that really helped Kohaku the most, I think, that we were all treating him normally and didn’t start walking on eggshells around him. Nobody babied him or talked to him like he was ‘slow’.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">We spoke often, Kohaku and I, my cousin eager to share with me everything he could remember from his experience on the other side. He unfortunately didn’t come away from his experience with a gift of his own, still ‘normal’ in that regard, but having become friends with Inuyasha, he visited Kohaku in his dreams from time to time so that the two of them could talk as well. Kohaku also kept the true nature of my relationship with Inuyasha a secret from his parents, agreeing with his sister that they probably wouldn’t understand. I might tell them, one day, and I certainly won’t lie if they somehow suspect and actually ask me, I’m just not going to go out of my way to bring it up. My aunt and uncle no longer act uncomfortable around me; I’m not really eager to have them thinking me a freak all over again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">As days turned into weeks and weeks into a couple of months, Kohaku was almost back to normal, but with a new outlook on life very few people could fully comprehend. He is now very grateful to still be alive, but he’s also not afraid of death, and knows that one day it will be his time. He just intends to live life to the fullest in the meantime; a sentiment the rest of the family shares.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I am now officially a medium and even have a Facebook page advertising my services. It took us a few tries, with him really revved up on a <em>lot</em> of energy to the point where she could see him herself as that human shaped mist he’d appeared as to my friends before, but my mother finally managed to get a good photograph of me with Inuyasha standing behind me.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">He’s translucent in the image, of course, his hand seemingly resting on my shoulder. We used <em>real film </em>for that sucker and I had the photograph analyzed by the experts just so that I could put their stamp of authenticity on my page as well. I made it clear we were not in the business of summoning loved ones from the beyond. My job is to placate the restless spirits haunting people’s houses or business establishments, or hell even people themselves can be haunted sometimes, a loved one refusing to leave them alone for whatever reason.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">I also made it explicitly clear on my page that I don’t exorcise, that I’m not touting any type of religion whatsoever, and that I have no magical or psychic powers. I’ve labeled myself a psychologist to the spirits. Yup, just like the dad from the Casper movie. Except he couldn’t see ghosts any easier than anyone else could and those ghosts were making themselves seen by everybody.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">For the record, I’ve never ever seen a ghost that actually looked like that. I figure the stereotypical ‘ghost’ image was probably derived from artist renderings of the humanoid mist non-gifted people could sometimes see. If Casper were real, <em>I </em>would see him as the little boy he’d been prior to death.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">But I digress.<br/><br/></p><p class="western">I’m still in college and definitely plan to graduate. If I ultimately decide to go to graduate school as well, to get my official degree in psychology, I think I’m leaning towards doing it part-time, rather than letting school gobble up another four years of my life in its entirety. It’ll take me a little longer that way, but in the meantime I already have a pretty lucrative business that’s only gaining in popularity as time goes by, and so I figure I should be able to afford an apartment easily enough. Mom has said that I’ll always be welcome at home, which I appreciate, but Inuyasha and I need our alone time, if you know what I mean. While in my dreams are the only way I can really touch <em>him</em>, it certainly isn’t the only way he can touch <em>me </em>and I’m looking forward to the day I no longer have to worry about being quiet.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Don’t get me wrong. I love our nights together, where I can hold him in my arms, feel his muscles shifting above my body, or below me, depending on our moods, but if he wants to torture me in the waking world with pleasurable little icy tingles while purposefully being invisible to me so that I don’t even know what’s coming next until suddenly, I’m coming undone, who am I to stop him?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">So that’s it. The story of how I officially outed myself as a medium, and how Inuyasha and I, along with Nurse Mary, saved Kohaku’s life...but mostly Inuyasha. My beloved Inuyasha. Perhaps he is the Ghost of Christmas Present, after all.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">~ Fin ~</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p>
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